Tag Archives: Value

The Art of Listening In HBO’s In Treatment…

12 May

Listening is truly a lost art.

In Treatment Dr Paul Weston's Hand Gestures

How often do you encounter people in life that you can tell are obviously not listening? It is the most common experience.

Sadly, it has become rare when someone actually listens to you and values what you have to say. 

In Treatment Talk To Me

In Treatment was a half an hour drama on HBO that starred Gabriel Byrne. The show was about the art of listening, psychotherapy, dysfunctions, neuroses, ethics, fears, self-sabotage, mental illness, relationships, conflict, trauma, pain, suffering, healing, resilience, etc.

Compassion and humanity are at the root of psychotherapy and In Treatment respectively. They speak about the deep need to be listened to without judgment. I have a great respect for psychology. It was one of my areas of study and I have intuitively known it is my vocation since childhood.

In treatment was even studied in universities at the time {I am not sure if it still is}. Counselling psychology students discussed in treatment in classes. Its pedagogical purpose was to teach students how to live their potential as psychologist and to help their clients heal.

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In Treatment is like a prism that reflects the spectrum of humanity.

It can be Shakespearean in its dramatic storylines, intimate revelations and profound intellectual discussions.

{Side note: this is Paul’s wave machine in the introduction}.

It is a cerebral show that dives deep into the Alice in wonderland rabbit hole of the psyche. In treatment relies heavily on the art of acting. Gabriel and the rest of the cast really shine in this thirty-minute drama. The skilled actors play off the script, each other, emotions and body language. They have no special effects to rely on- just their acting skills. {Side note: Gabriel won a golden globe for his performance. Many other actors and the show itself were nominated for numerous awards}.

Gabriel’s character is the compassionate Dr.Paul Weston.

He is the wounded healer, secret keeper, listener, teacher and psychologist.

In Treatment He's Listening

Psychotherapy is based on trust and vulnerability- spiritual and emotional nakedness. There is a strong emotional connection between Paul and all of his patients. First, he has to earn their trust and convince them to trust him and open up.

He must analyze their issues beneath the masks they wear.

He has to discern the truth from lies, distortions and projections.

All of his patients have complex problems and dysfunctional patterns of behaviour.

Some are based on the complexities of being in a relationship and sharing a life with someone despite conflicting personalities or desires. With Jake and Amy, Paul is a mediator between them. He uses conflict resolution, helps them clarify their real issues/emotions and helps them decide on their course of action.

Others are more individual problems with roots in childhood.

Regardless of how the trauma manifests itself, what is evident is that Paul is responsible for his patients.

In some cases, he is the only person that his patients have to rely on. 

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In treatment examines many themes. One is the issue of transference.

Transference can happen in the therapeutic process. The psychologist has to maintain their boundaries and respect their professional code of ethics.

How do you treat a patient that thinks they are in love with you?

What if they insist on their declarations of love?

What if they play mind games and employ manipulation?

How do navigate that?

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Intergenerational trauma is another topic that is examined in the show.

Alex is not even aware of the impact of how his father murdered his grandfather traumatized him. He is also not conscious of how his childhood and his father’s toxic masculinity traumatized him.

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How do you deal with the emotional impact of listening to people’s problems all day?

Many psychologists go to their own psychologist for therapy and to consult about their patients. Paul goes to Gina for this purpose. Their relationship is quite strained but he desperately needs that outlet.

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Some quotes from this video stood out to me in particular…

“It is hard to see so many people in pain and not be able to do anything to help them in some way.” -Paul

“Maybe helping is easier than feeling the pain.” -Laura

I can attest to this feeling of helplessness. It is very painful for me to see or know that someone is in pain without being able to do anything to ease their suffering.

Laura’s observation has some merit. Sometimes it is easier to help than feel. Sometimes it just hurts too much.

“We are not Gods, we can’t save anybody.” -Gina

Gina’s statement is true.

We cannot save anybody.

We can only help them to save themselves.

“It is possible to live in a world where people panic, where people let each other down, where they disappoint each other but still help each other out.” -Paul

I think this is the most realistic observation.

It is still possible to help each other despite our flaws and limitations.

Paul asks Alex where he wants his therapy to lead him. He answers painfully, “some place where I feel less shitty about myself.”

There is something in Blair Underwood’s voice when he says “some place where I feel less shitty about myself.” We can all relate to this sentiment.

“I thought that is what we are on the earth for- to help each other- to step up to the plate when somebody needs us.” -Paul

I have to agree with Paul.

I think it is noble to derive your life’s purpose from altruism and compassion.

Finding meaning in helping others is something I can deeply relate to.

“There are other places where you can feel safe and here in this room is one of those places.” -Paul

The therapist’s office is like a sanctuary from the chaos of the world.

Paul really wants to help his patients find their own answers to enlighten themselves, empower themselves and solve their problems.

With Sophie, Paul wanted her to have her own epiphanies.

In this scene, Sophie has empowered herself enough to confront her father on his abandonment and absence as a father.

Paul’s role is not to be the judge but to guide them to reconnect and re-establish their relationship. The journey is painful but worthwhile.

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Paul’s observations/analysis is incisive.

He really gets to the root of his patient’s suffering.

{It reminds me of Robin Williams’ character the psychologist Sean McGuire in Goodwill Hunting}.

His patients always challenge him and often test his boundaries.

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It should be noted that Paul has his own problems to contend with.

I think it is vital to observe that psychologists are human and imperfect. They have to deal with their own life and its challenges while trying to help others heal and figure out their life’s labyrinth.

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Happy birthday to Gabriel Byrne today!!!

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Further Research

Gabriel Byrnehttps://www.byrneholics.com/

Gabriel Byrne’s Internet Movie Database Page

In TreatmentIn Treatment’s Internet Movie Database Page

In Treatment’s HBO Page

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Have you watched In Treatment?

What did you think?

You can watch it on HBO’s website {for a price}.

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Rest in peace to Irrfan Khan who recently died {April 29th, 2020}.

He brilliantly played Sunil in the third season.

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Peace & Compassion,

-V.

Reflection for today…Never The Same Love Twice -F. Scott Fitzgerald

10 Jan

Isn’t it comforting to know that someone will never find the pure love that you gave them {no matter who they are with}? This reflection is so empowering to me. I feel that it highlights the importance of self-love and valuing oneself.

What you offer another in the realm of love is sacred.

If someone doesn’t value or appreciate your love then they are not the person for you. You will only suffer by their side and become embittered. You will only be taken for granted. You will not grow spiritually/evolve or live your potential. You won’t be happy or loved.

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Please enjoy Don’t Take Your Love Away From Me by VAST {Visual Auditory Sensory Theater}…

{I love how she walks away from him in the end…}

 

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Don’t Take Your Love Away From Me

Vast

DON’T TAKE YOUR LOVE AWAY FROM ME LYRICS

I am looking for an inspiration
And I think I found it in your heart
It’s the kind of thing you get when you’re not looking
It’s the kind of thing you had from the start
Put me on a ship that is sinking
On a voyage to an untamed land
Take away the freedoms I wanted
I understand
Please, don’t take your love away from me
Don’t take your love away from me
Please don’t take your love away from me
Please don’t take your love from me
Please don’t take your love from me
Put me inside flesh that is dying
A ghost that wanders without rest
Buried by desires and weakness
I understand
Please, don’t take your love away from me
Don’t take your love away from me
Please don’t take your love from me
Please don’t take your love from me
Hmmmmmm
Hmmmmmm

 

Copied & Pasted from https://genius.com/Vast-dont-take-your-love-away-from-me-lyrics

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I have always dreamed of someone loving me like John Crosby does in this song.

The way he sings is so soulful and romantic.

He really doesn’t want his lover to leave-he aches for her.

May we all find a love like this. May we all love someone that loves us like this.

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Do you like VAST’s music?

They are criminally underrated. 

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Peace & Sacred Love,

-V.

Reflection for today…The Value of Money -Nikola Tesla

5 Nov

     “Money does not represent such a value as men have placed upon it.”

-Nikola Tesla

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In this short video clip, Moby discusses the value of money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGwVm-Tj_s

He notes, “the ultimate goal in acquiring money is to have enough money so you don’t have to worry about money. 

His observation, “the best thing about money is when you don’t have to pay attention to money” is paradoxical.

It is a paradox that you can stop paying attention to money only when you have money.

This begs the question of how much money does one need to have in order to stop paying attention to it? 

{I suspect that it varies from individual  to individual}.

Moby talks about how he grew up poor and even lived in an abandoned factory in a crack neighborhood.

*It should be noted that at no point in time does he complain about the poverty he experienced.

One senses an air of gratitude from Moby for these experiences.

His humble beginnings are quite the contrast to his massive success as a musician. I believe that Moby truly deserves and enjoys his success- financial and otherwise.

His last point was that he doesn’t understand the pursuit of money for the sake of money.

Chasing money for the sake of money sounds like greed to me.

Greed

To me it seems that Moby is asking existential questions about human existence.

Specifically, he is questioning purpose and what brings happiness and satisfaction. 

He does not think that happiness is derived solely from money.

Moby Loves Animals & Is An Animal Activist…

However, Moby notes that money can improve the quality of your life.

Sociology teaches us that a person’s income and social status greatly impacts their health and quality of life.

Sadly, society is not a level playing field; hence, the vital and urgent importance of social equality is understood.

Moby invites us to define success and find happiness and satisfaction on own our terms. 

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Please enjoy Paid in Full by the legendary Eric B & Rakim

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7t8eoA_1jQ

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Do you agree or disagree with Moby?

Why or why not?

What does success mean to you?

What brings you happiness and satisfaction in life?

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For more information…

Nikola Tesla…http://www.pbs.org/tesla/ll/index.html

Moby…http://www.moby.com

Eric B. & Rakim…http://www.ericbnrakim.com

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Moby Wishes You Peace, Love and Happiness…

Reflection for today…Strength in Solitude -Paulo Coelho

29 Jan

On solitude

by Paulo Coelho

Capture 

“For those who are not frightened by the solitude that reveals all mysteries, everything will have a different taste.

In solitude, they will discover the love that might otherwise arrive unnoticed. In solitude, they will understand and respect the love that left them.

In solitude, they will be able to decide whether it is worth asking that lost love to come back or if they should simply let it go and set off along a new path.

In solitude, they will learn that saying ‘No’ does not always show a lack of generosity and that saying ‘Yes’ is not always a virtue.

And those who are alone at this moment, need never be frightened by the words of the devil: ‘You’re wasting your time.’ Or by the chief demon’s even more potent words: ‘No one cares about you.’

The Divine Energy is listening to us when we speak to other people, but also when we are still and silent and able to accept solitude as a blessing.

And in that moment, Its light illumines everything around us and helps us to see that we are necessary, and that our presence on Earth makes a huge difference to Its work.”

taken from MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN ACCRA

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For more infinite wisdom, please visit Paulo Coelho’s blog: http://paulocoelhoblog.com/

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In solitude we can look within and acquire infinite wisdom.

In solitude we can listen to our intuition.

In solitude we can be truly honest with ourselves.

In solitude we can reconnect with ourselves and our spirituality- our center/core.

In solitude we can reflect, grow and heal.

In solitude we can discover who we are.

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Please enjoy Hope Leaves by Opeth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KjOhoH0dY4

Opeth Hope Leaves Lyrics
Songwriters: Mikael Lars Akerfeldt
 
“In the corner beside my window there hangs a lonely photograph
There is no reason I’d never notice a memory that could hold me back
There is a wound that’s always bleeding
There is a road I’m always walking
And I know you’ll never return to this place
Gone through days without talking

There is a comfort in silence
So used to losing all ambition
Struggling to maintain what’s left
Once undone, there is only smoke burning in my eyes to blind
To cover up what really happened
Force the darkness unto me.”
Hope Leaves lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
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For more information on Opeth, please visit their official website: http://www.opeth.com/home/
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Peace & Namaste…

Reflection for today…The Manifesto of Encouragement -Danielle LaPorte

20 Oct

The Manifesto of Encouragement

“Right now:

There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.

Someone you haven’t met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.

Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.

Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God’s children.

A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, “nourish them.”

Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you.

Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie.

Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you — for free.

Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.

The next great song is being rehearsed.

Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.

Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.

Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they’ll be thriving like never before. They just can’t see it from where they’re at.

Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want — and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it’s reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all “So worth the wait.

Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche — this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.

Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.

Someone is fighting the fight so that you don’t have to.

Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe. Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.

Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.

You. Me. Some. One. Now.”

Danielle LaPorte

Copied & Pasted from: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/inspiration-spirituality-articles/the-manifesto-of-encouragement/

“Danielle LaPorte is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, which has been called the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.”

Please visit her website for some inspiration and wisdom…She is so brilliant. I just “discovered” her and will most likely be doing more blog posts about her and her writing.

If you want more inspiration and wisdom from Danielle, please go to her website: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/ to sign up for her newsletters.
You can choose to receive via email a “daily truthbomb”, a “somewhat weekly” newsletter and a “monthly digest” newsletter.
I am signed up for all of them and highly recommend them.

Her book The Fire Starter Sessions is at the top of my reading list.

Danielle has generously provided the first chapter of her book for free on her website. You can read it on Scribd or download it in pdf format. Please click on this link: The Fire Starter Sessions Chapter One.

Peace & Namaste Friends…

Photo Courtesy of Anastasia Photography
From their blog at: http://anastasiachomlack.typepad.com/laughter/2009/11/inspired.html

Reflection for today…Essential Life Questions -Johnny Depp

4 Aug

 “There are four questions of value in life:

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

And what is worth dying for?

The answer to each is the same.

Only love.”

-Johnny Depp

What are your essential life questions?

Break Me Gently…Honesty Breaks Down Walls in High Fidelity

14 Jul

News | How Erykah Badu Broke it Off With Rapper Common! | Singersroom

The reason that I decided to share this is because I wanted to briefly discuss break-ups.

I really respect how Erykah Badu was so honest with Common.

Although it hurt him to tell him the truth about her change of heart, in the end it was better for Common. 

He grew and learned from the experience.

It was his first love and first heart-break. Now he says that he and Erykah are “cool” again.

Why couldn’t everyone be so honest in regards to break-ups?

Imagine if someone told you the truth instead of a cheap, prostituted line…

“It’s not you, it’s me.” 

*Who really believes that anyway? Come on, please. Don’t even…

If people were more honest about why they really want to leave their significant other, then perhaps the other person would learn so much more and have better closure.

Perhaps this communication could break down some walls and infuse some new life in the old friendship and romance.

Who knows, perhaps this new-found honesty might create some new-found intimacy and the break-up might even be avoided.

Perhaps things fall apart to come together…

Perhaps I am dreaming of a utopian vision of reality because I know that most of the time things just fall apart.

{I know that relationships and break-ups especially are more complicated than this post describes}.

Regardless, if a couple has to part ways, it would be ideal if they each respected each other enough to really be honest with each other.

By not telling someone the truth, you are potentially taking away opportunities for growth. 

You are also really damaging their self-esteem, self-worth and confidence because they are left to wonder what is wrong with them.

They can only think that something is inherently wrong with themselves..

How else can they know what they did wrong if you don’t tell them? How else can they improve, learn, grow and change?

Thankfully one can still do some self-reflection in order to find healing, growth and closure on your own. 

You can learn from your mistakes.

*Of course your learning, growth and healing is not the other person’s responsibility.

{That is not at all what I am saying. Your learning, growth and healing is always your responsibility.

It would be so helpful to get that honesty, respect and communication from the person that once claimed to love and care about you}.

If both are ready and willing to battle their egos, then perhaps they can truly listen, share and learn.

At least both can learn what they did wrong from the mutual constructive criticism and feedback.

They will know why the other is jumping ship instead of just being left out in the cold  {or the rain} all alone.

Leaving someone guessing is just too cruel to do to someone’s heart, mind, life and soul- especially to someone who you used to like, love or at least be attracted to. This only further hurts someone that loved and adored you.

Don’t they deserve better from you?

{Leaving crumbs of false hope is an even more heartless thing to do to someone. Giving someone false hope so selfishly makes it painful for them to move on and to heal}. 

No one deserves to over-analyze and be haunted by what they possibly could have done wrong.They deserve better and if you are the dumped person, then so do you.

{Of course there always are exceptions and sadly not every break-up is amicable}.

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P.s. I highly recommend watching the movie High Fidelity (where most of the pictures from this post are from).

It is an excellent movie and my favourite break-up movie of all time next to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind}. 

Plus I adore John Cusack.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seSLhjX4uA0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxDMzbxPQx8&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmmq2ozbIFY&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puOQuQI83lw&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2oP8YO7F5A&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dRiD-giCTc&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeL32rVtvic&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmk12K5dFno&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ1vNa-fzX0&feature=fvwrel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b9rbDeE9ZE&feature=fvwrel

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I also recommend a song that I love called “Break Me Gently” by Doves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHtNGaaXSqs

It was part of the inspiration for this post {along with High Fidelity}.

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The learn more about Doves, please click here:

http://www.doves.net/