Healing, Compassion, Buddhism, Spiritual Development, The Quest for Truth & Wisdom, Psychology, Health & Wellness, Creativity, Music, Films, Literature, Art, Critical Thinking, Mental Health Advocacy, Social Justice, Resilience, Reflection, The Beauty of Melancholy, Gothic Sensibilities, Consciousness, Memento Mori, LOVE…
“Yo estaba bien Por un tiempo Volviendo a sonreir Luego anoche te vi Tu mano me toco Y el saludo de tu voz Te hable muy bien y tu sin saber Que he estado
Llorando por tu amor Llorando por tu amor
Luego de tu adios Senti todo mi dolor Sola y llorando Llorando Llorando Llorando
No es facil de entender Que al verte otra vez Yo estoy llorando
Yo que pense Que te olvide Pero es verdad es la verdad Que te quiero mas Mucho mas que ayer Dime tu que puedo hacer
No me quieres ya Y siempre estare
Llorando por tu amor Llorando por tu amor
Tu amor se llevo Todo mi corazon Y quedo llorando Llorando Llorando Llorando Llorando Llorando
“If I think more about death than some other people,
it is probably because I love life more than they do.” -Angelina Jolie
I feel the magnetic pull towards art and artists that explore themes of death, melancholy, depression/mental illness, etc.
Angelina Jolie and Tricky/Adrian Thaws have always been artists that I deeply respect. {They have been featured on this blog many times and will continue to be}. Both have explored spiritual darkness {e.g. melancholy, depression/mental illness, suffering, addiction} and death in their art. I feel more enriched as a result. I feel that I have walked away with a more balanced picture of humanity and our struggles/triumphs here on earth. Their art has fed my soul and for this, I am deeply grateful.
I completely agree with Angelina & Tricky that death and life are inextricably linked. One cannot divorce one from the other. This epiphany brings us the wisdom to know that reflecting on death is, in essence, reflecting on life. This is the memento mori {remembering death} tradition.
“But past civilisations – from the ancient Greeks to the Victorians – were acutely aware of their own mortality. Memento mori was the philosophy of reflecting on your own death as a form of spiritual improvement, and rejecting earthly vanities.”
Tricky is right that to reject death is to reject life. His view is very Buddhist in nature. Tricky’s surrealist art may possibly be born out of his realist approach to life. He was forced to reflect on life and death at the young age of four when his mother, Maxine Quaye, tragically committed suicide. This timeless loss created such a void in his life and a fascination and curiosity with death. This dark sensibility and haunting melancholia would be the nucleus for Tricky’s art later on.
*
Please enjoy When We Die by Tricky & Martina Topley-Bird…
“Following the announcement of his 13th album ununiform, Tricky presents the video for single ‘When We Die’, featuring Martina Topley-Bird. It offers an intimate look at the diverse range of people going about their individual, and individually complex, city lives – a filmic treatment of the ‘Humans of New York’ story-telling approach. Eerie, haunting yet enveloped by a sense of peace and acceptance,
‘When We Die’ sees Tricky take hold of a new zest for life he has come to possess:
“If you don’t accept death, you don’t really accept life”, says Tricky.”
So, where do I go, where do I go? I don’t die young, not like Michael My friend’s psycho, so, I might go lie low So, where do I go, where do I go? Fun trips, she’s wearing lycro Where do we go, where do we go When we die, then we lie low?
How can you somewhat say? Twins apart, faded grey Is it like that dream I had? And you are here like a dream
Where did you go, where did you go? Why did you leave? What do you need, what do you need? Now you go, I hardly breathe What do you see, what do you see? I think of you and waste my day So, where do we go, where do we go When we die, then we lay low?
How can you somewhat say? Twins apart, faded grey Is it like that dream I had? And you are here like a dream
How can you somewhat say? Twins apart, faded grey Is it like that dream I had? And you are here like a dream
How can you somewhat say? Twins apart, faded grey Is it like that dream I had? And you are here like a dream.”
Songwriters: Adrian Nicholas Matthew Thaws / Martina Gillian Topley-Bird
“No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one.
No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow.
All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning.” ―Haruki Murakami,
It is painfully obvious that Eric is deeply mourning Jimi. Their friendship had a sacred place in his life. It was a friendship based on mutual respect and admiration. It was a friendship of equals.
Jimi Hendrix & Eric Clapton in 1967
Eric is overcome with a tidal wave of melancholy while speaking about Jimi. A sense of anger is also present in his voice. Perhaps it is the sense of hopelessness over what happened. The sad truth is that no matter how much we love someone, we cannot save them from anything- especially from death.
Death tries to steal our greatest loves from us.
Death is the greatest thief.
*
Eric speaks about the feelings of abandonment he felt when Jimi died, “a lonely feeling to be left alone.” This comment reminds me of how death affects the loved ones left behind. Somehow they have to be resilient in order to continue on with their lives despite their pain and grief. The hole in one’s heart is left there forever. Time is irrelevant in grief. I really admire people for their strength in being able to live their lives despite their grief, suffering and losses. They truly have my utmost respect.
*
Eric’s story about the birthday gift he bought for Jimi was so heartfelt. He bought him a left-handed Fender stratocaster guitar but due to circumstances, he was unable to give it to him that night. Unfortunately, he was never able to give it Jimi because he died. Eric notes, “The next day, wack, he was gone and I was left with that left-handed stratocaster.” When he looks at the interviewer it looks like he is holding back tears. You can see the pain in his eyes- in his soul.
It is so tragic when loved ones are taken from us. I recently lost someone and no matter how many times it has happened, you are never ready for it. You are always left broken, bloody, bruised, raw and spiritually naked. Grieving takes a lot out of you- especially if you are a sensitive soul like myself. This is the reason why I have been away so long from this blog. I needed some time to reflect and grieve on my own. Hopefully I can reflect with you all now. If you are still here, thank you for still being here. Thank you for reading.
I remember reading some Buddhist teachings many moons ago that spoke about the ocean of consciousness.
It spoke about each of us being a wave in the ocean.
We think that we are completely independent; that we are a single wave because of the illusion of our ego.
Our ego clouds and distorts our perception creating a false sense of self.
It is complicated as in Western society there is so much focus on the self: self-improvement, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-doubt, etc.
The truth is that while it may seem that we are individual waves,
we are actually part of the ocean; the ocean of humanity.
*
I really cannot understand how some people can have no compassion for each other.
At the root of this poverty of the spirit is a lack of compassion for the self, selfishness and an overindulgence of the ego.
{One cannot offer compassion if you have no compassion for yourself}.
As I said to my friend, if we don’t help each other then we will all sink.
I know that we all have our individual problems but if we just focus on them, then we cannot get out of our heads and the prison of selfishness.
There is a delicate balance between having compassion and helping others with helping yourself and protecting yourself from harm. Boundaries are necessary.
I always struggle with how to have compassion while not losing myself.
The sad truth is that many people mistake kindness for weakness.
The truth is that it takes great strength to be compassionate in this world.
It takes great spiritual strength to open your heart and mind to offer your compassion.
*
When the triple disasters were taking place in Japan in 2011, I was horrified. I was watching the news on the internet. I constantly watched BBC, CBC and Al Jazeera with tears in my eyes.
I could not help crying as I watched the news.
It hurt my heart and soul to witness such suffering.
I could not believe that on top of the tsunami and the earthquake there was a nuclear situation as well. As I thought of Fukushima, I was reminded of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. I was very concerned and afraid for Japan. I still am.
While I had no family, friends or loved ones in Japan, I felt deep compassion for the Japanese.
It didn’t matter in the least if I didn’t know a single soul in Japan.
We are all interconnected and if Japan was suffering and grieving then we all were.
I still think of Japan and how the triple disasters affected and affect people today- especially the effects of nuclear contamination/radiation.
The reason that I share this is because I had an epiphany then.
My good friend and I were having coffee one day {during the disasters in 2011}.
I was telling him about what was happening in Japan.
He stopped me in the middle of my sentence and said very coldly, “you know what…I just don’t care.”
That is when I realized that something inside of him died.
To be honest, I was very disturbed by his comment and his attitude.
Upon deep reflection, I felt sadness and compassion for him.
He had just gone through a very painful and dark time with the illness of his mother. I know that this experience had a very damaging effect on him.
I think he was most likely spiritually disconnected and emotionally numb at that point.
He probably had nothing left to give as he was in desperate need of healing.
*
Compassion is the greatest gift you can offer someone.
Compassion is what makes us truly human.
Our humanity is rooted in compassion.
*Remember that we are all in this life together.
We all depend on each other.
We are all interdependent as waves in the ocean of humanity.
*
Please enjoy Ocean by Azam Ali and Loga Ramin Torkian as I felt it complimented this post.
It is from Azam Ali’s album: “Lamentation of Swans: A Journey Towards Silence.”
“Niyaz, which means ‘yearning’ in Persian and Urdu, was formed in 2005 by Azam Ali, multi-instrumentalist Loga Ramin Torkian and two-time Grammy nominated producer and electronic musician Carmen Rizzo.
The band borrows from an historic lineage of Middle Eastern poets setting verse to music, perhaps most famously known today through the work of the 13th century Persian poet Rumi and the endless barrage of quotes attributed to him on Twitter and Facebook.
While the immediate goal of Niyaz was to explore the music and identity of Iranians living in exile and struggling to maintain their cultural identity in the modern world on their first two acclaimed records, Niyaz and Nine Heavens, the band has expanded that theme with Sumud.”
*
Azam Ali is the singer with the heavenly voice in Niyaz.
Her voice is truly “otherworldly” and hauntingly beautiful.
She has also been a part of another band named VAS. Their albums include: Sunyata (1997), Offerings (1998), In the Garden of Souls (2000) and Feast of Silence (2004).
Azam has released seven albums between Niyaz and VAS.
Niyaz’s albums include: Niyaz (2005), Nine Heavens (2008) and Sumud (2012).
She has also released four solo albums: Portals of Grace (2002), Elysium for the Brave (2006), From Night to the Edge of Day (2011) and Lamentation of Swans- A Journey Towards Silence (2013).
Azam has also been involved in movie soundtracks (the movie 300) and video game soundtracks.
For more information, please visit her official website…
We need to love. Even when it leads us to the land where the lakes are made of tears, to that secret, mysterious place, the land of tears!
Tears speak for themselves. And when we feel that we have cried all we needed to cry, they still continue to flow. But when we believe that our life is destined to be a long walk through the Vale of Sorrows, the tears suddenly vanish.
Because we managed to keep our heart open, despite the pain.
Because we realised that the person who left us did not take the sun with them or leave darkness in their place. They simply left, and with every farewell comes a hidden hope.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
“Broken bottle won’t hurt me
Nothing worse that I have dreamed Gun shot in my chest you’ll leave
I can take that you will see
Late at night is when I dream
Horrible things are what I see
Hard for me to believe
I wake up and I won’t freeze
Car crash highway tragedy
Nothing worse than I have dreamed Loss of my best friend I grieve
I can take that you will see.”
{I apologize but I was unable to embed or send this video as those options were not available. If you could help me to embed this video from the internet archive, then I would be ever so grateful}.
I copied and pasted the description of the interview from the show’s web site:
“…The basis for a searching interview, in which Gabriel talks engagingly and openly about his life: his decision to enter a UK seminary at the age of eleven; his experiences of clerical sexual abuse; his reasons for giving up on any idea of priesthood and his search for another vocation, which found fulfilment in acting; his relationships with the two key women in his life, Aine O’Connor and Ellen Barkin; his on-going struggle with twin demons – alcoholism and depression – in which he knows he is far from alone in this country; and the reason he thinks so much about death.”
*
Gabriel says that alcoholism and depression are seen as moral failings– as if something is wrong with the person for being “weak” or “not good enough.” These feelings of inadequacy have probably existed before. They only become exacerbated with drinking and by the judgment of others.
***Alcohol only adds fuel to the fire.***
He also notes that alcoholism and depression are often intertwined; hence the “twin demons” reference. They are so inextricably linked that I wonder how one can be divorced from the other. I don’t believe that they can- especially since alcoholism is a depressant. People drink to get out of depression. The more they drink, the more depressed they become;hence, the vicious and self-destructive cycle continues.
Gabriel says that, “Part of the disease of alcoholism is removing yourself from reality as quickly as possible.” Essentially he is describing an emotional disconnection, spiritual disconnection- numbness. He describes binge drinking as a plague because people emotionally disconnect from themselves, from others and from life.
I think it is vital for people to be honest about depression and addiction {in any form}. Awareness and honesty is what will give them insight. Courage will allow them to look in the mirror and take the first step on the path to healing.
Then people can start to fight their demons.
I pray that they win.
*People suffering from any addiction or illness need our compassion.
{You never know if your compassion can give them strength to battle their demons and to heal}.
Who is Passing You By??? Or Who Are You Passing By???
I Love The Pharcyde… Passin’ Me By is a True Hip Hop Classic… Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde is a Classic Hip Hop Album…so original, creative and fresh. Its still all love after all these years… The Pharcyde – Passin’ Me by Lyrics
“Now in my younger days I used to sport a shag When I went to school I carried lunch in a bag With an apple for my teacher cause I knew I’d get a kiss Always got mad when the class was dismissed But when it was in session, I always had a question I would raise my hand to make her stand, come to my desk and Help me with my problem, it was never much Just a trick, to smell her scent and try to sneak a touch Oh, how I wish I could hold her hand and give her a hug She was married to the man, he was a thug His name was Lee, he drove a Z He’d pick her up from school promptly at three o’clock I was on her jock, yes indeedy I wrote graffiti on the bus
First I’d write her name then carve a plus
With my name last, on the looking glass
I seen her yesterday but still I had to let her pass
She keeps on passin’ me by…
When I dream of fairytales I think of me and Shelly See she’s my type of hype and I can’t stand when brothers tell me That I should quit chasin’ and look for somethin’ better But the smile that she shows makes me a go-getter I haven’t gone as far as asking if I could get with her I just play it by ear and hope she gets the picture I’m shootin’ for her heart, got my finger on the trigger She could be my broad, and I could be her nigg* But, all I can do is stare Back as kids we used to kiss when we played truth or dare
Now she’s more sophisticated, highly edu-ma-cated
Not at all over-rated, I think I need a prayer
To get in her boots and it looks rather dry I guess a twinkle in her eye is just a twinkle in her eye
Although she’s crazy steppin’, I’ll try to stop her stride
Cause I won’t have no more of this passin’ me by…
Time for me to voice my opinion of not even pretendin she didn’t have me Strung like a chicken, chase my tail like a doggie She was kind of like a star, thinking I was like a fan
Dude, she looked good, down side: she had a man He was a rooty-toot, a nincompoop She told me soon your little birdie’s gonna fly the coop She was a flake like corn, and I was born not to understand By lettin’ her pass I had proved to be a better man
She keeps on passin’ me by…
Now there she goes again, the dopest Ethiopian And now the world around me be gets movin in slow motion
When-ever she happens to walk by – why does the apple of my eye
Overlook and disregard my feelings no matter how much I try? Wait, no, I did not really pursue my little princess with persistance; And I was so low-key that she was unaware of my existence
From a distance I desired, secretly admired her;
Wired her a letter to get her, and it went:
My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me but I know you very well
Now let me tell you about the feelings I have for you
When I try, or make some sort of attempt, I symp
Damn I wish I wasn’t such a wimp
Cause then I would let you know that I love you so
And if I was your man then I would be true The only lyin’ I would do is in the bed with you
Then I signed sincerely, the one who loves you dearly, PS Love Me Tender
The letter came back three days later: Return to Sender, damn
She keeps on passin’ me by…”
“…If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving
and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death…”
