Tag Archives: Hurt

Reflection for today…No Truth Can Cure Grief -Haruki Murakami

31 May

“No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one.

No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow.

All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning.” 
Haruki Murakami,   

Norwegian Wood

Crying Angel

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In this short video clip, Eric Clapton discusses Jim Hendrix’s death.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j082opb4AZo

http://youtu.be/j082opb4AZo

Eric Clapton about Jimi Hendrix death

It is painfully obvious that Eric is deeply mourning Jimi. Their friendship had a sacred place in his life. It was a friendship based on mutual respect and admiration. It was a friendship of equals.

Jimi Hendrix & Eric Clapton in 1967

Eric is overcome with a tidal wave of melancholy while speaking about Jimi. A sense of anger is also present in his voice. Perhaps it is the sense of hopelessness over what happened. The sad truth is that no matter how much we love someone, we cannot save them from anything- especially from death.

Death tries to steal our greatest loves from us.

Death is the greatest thief.

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Eric speaks about the feelings of abandonment he felt when Jimi died, “a lonely feeling to be left alone.” This comment reminds me of how death affects the loved ones left behind. Somehow they have to be resilient in order to continue on with their lives despite their pain and grief. The hole in one’s heart is left there forever. Time is irrelevant in grief. I really admire people for their strength in being able to live their lives despite their grief, suffering and losses. They truly have my utmost respect.

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Eric’s story about the birthday gift he bought for Jimi was so heartfelt. He bought him a left-handed Fender stratocaster guitar but due to circumstances, he was unable to give it to him that night. Unfortunately, he was never able to give it Jimi because he died. Eric notes, “The next day, wack, he was gone and I was left with that left-handed stratocaster.” When he looks at the interviewer it looks like he is holding back tears. You can see the pain in his eyes- in his soul.

It is so tragic when loved ones are taken from us. I recently lost someone and no matter how many times it has happened, you are never ready for it. You are always left broken, bloody, bruised, raw and spiritually naked. Grieving takes a lot out of you- especially if you are a sensitive soul like myself. This is the reason why I have been away so long from this blog. I needed some time to reflect and grieve on my own. Hopefully I can reflect with you all now. If you are still here, thank you for still being here. Thank you for reading.

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For more information…

Jimi Hendrix…http://www.jimihendrix.com/us/home

Eric Clapton…http://www.ericclapton.com/

Fender Guitars…http://www.fender.com/en-CA/

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Jimi Hendrix & Eric Clapton

In true friendship, we give the best of ourselves to our friend. We give our respect, loyalty and compassion.

Peace & Namaste…

Reflection for today…Human Loneliness -Haruki Murakami

10 Apr

“Why do people have to be this lonely?

What’s the point of it all?

Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves.

Why?

Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”  
Haruki Murakami,   

Sputnik Sweetheart 

Loneliness can follow you like a shadow…

*

Loneliness can be a source of existential angst, alienation and suffering.

What does loneliness mean to you?

Do you feel lonely?

What do you do when you feel that void inside?

Does being with someone else actually cure or minimize your loneliness?

I tend to feel more alone than lonely {even though I know we are never really alone}.

Being a lone wolf, I am comfortable with solitude.

I find solace, strength and wisdom in it.

{My view of loneliness is more like an upcoming Charles Bukowski reflection}.

I do feel compassion for others that are experiencing loneliness.

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Please enjoy Lonely Soul by UNKLE & Richard Ashcroft

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lpfWF4owSI

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For more information…

Haruki Murakami…http://www.murakami.ch/main_4.html

UNKLE…http://unkle.com/

Richard Ashcroft…http://richardashcroft.co.uk/

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Peace & Namaste…

 

Reflection for today…Keeping Memories Alive -Haruki Murakami

19 Feb

“No matter how much suffering you went through,

you never wanted to let go of those memories.” 
Haruki Murakami

Pinned Image

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Most of the pictures are from the brilliant film Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind.

I highly recommend it!

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Please enjoy “The Only Thing I Know” by Gotye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=QvnJaq6VD7U&feature=endscreen

“I’m living with your memory
In the attic in my mind
And you’ve been getting by without me
But I’ve been spending all my time
With a girl that I remember
Who’ll never leave or need to grow
Cos when you left you left your memory
Now it’s the only thing I know

When the past gives me no comfort
And though the future is the cost
The way I’m choosing to remember
I’ll forever be the man I never was

And you, you fade
But the memory remains the same
And I, I can’t change
And I think that living with your memory
Is slowly driving me insane

You are perfect but you’re empty
And it gets so lonely in my mind
Cos your image in my memory’s
The only shred of you that’s left behind
You were real but then you left me
And that’s the part I can’t accept
So I’ll keep on living with your memory
Because it’s all that I’ve got left.”

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For more information…

 Haruki Murakami…http://www.murakami.ch/main_2.html

or his official UK website: http://www.murakamibooks.co.uk/

Gotye’s Official Website…http://gotye.com/

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Peace & Namaste…

Reflection for today…Tears Speak For Themselves -Paulo Coelho

5 Feb

Tears speak for themselves

by Paulo Coelho on February 2, 2013

Our great goal in life is to love.

The rest is silence.

We need to love. Even when it leads us to the land where the lakes are made of tears, to that secret, mysterious place, the land of tears!

Tears speak for themselves. And when we feel that we have cried all we needed to cry, they still continue to flow. But when we believe that our life is destined to be a long walk through the Vale of Sorrows, the tears suddenly vanish.

Because we managed to keep our heart open, despite the pain.

Because we realised that the person who left us did not take the sun with them or leave darkness in their place. They simply left, and with every farewell comes a hidden hope.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

taken from MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN ACCRA

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Johnny Cash & June Carter: Eternal Lovers

To me Johnny Cash and June Carter illustrate what love is.

Someone that is home to your soul.

{More posts about their love in the future…}

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Paulo Coelho manages to capture the essence of love.

“Our great goal in life is to love.

The rest is silence.”

Tears are cathartic.

They help us to cleanse and heal.

Paulo Coelho reminds us of the need to cry in order to heal and open our hearts again.

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Here is a song that makes me cry…

Please enjoy Tragedy by Hayden.

Hayden is a soulful Canadian artist.

This achingly beautiful song is from his album Everything I Long For.

I highly recommend it.

I am so grateful that it was given to me as a gift.

What a gift it is to listen to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gZZMpmIzGA

“Broken bottle won’t hurt me
Nothing worse that I have dreamed
Gun shot in my chest you’ll leave
I can take that you will see
Late at night is when I dream
Horrible things are what I see
Hard for me to believe
I wake up and I won’t freeze
Car crash highway tragedy
Nothing worse than I have dreamed
Loss of my best friend I grieve
I can take that you will see.”

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For more information…

 Paulo Coelho… http://paulocoelho.com/

Hayden…http://wasteyourdaysaway.com/

Johnny Cash…http://www.johnnycash.com/

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Do you agree with Paulo Coelho?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Peace & Namaste…

Reflection for today…Life Hurts More Than Death -Jim Morrison

1 Sep

People fear death even more than pain.

It’s strange that they fear death.

Life hurts a lot more than death.

At the point of death, the pain is over.

Yeah, I guess it is a friend.”

Jim Morrison

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I just had to include one of my favourite songs by The Doors as it is relevant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lofF2p0_cJs

“This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I’ll never look into your eyes…again…”

-The Doors, The End

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Do you agree with Jim?

Why or why not?

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For more information on Jim Morrison and his band The Doors,

please visit:

http://www.thedoors.com/index.php

Peace & Namaste…

Reflection for today…The Price of Love -Bob Marley

25 Jul

 “Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you,

you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”

Bob Marley

Who is worth suffering for?

Conversely, why would someone who loves you make you suffer?

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Peace & Namaste…

Reflection for today…Love and Respect -Don Miguel Ruiz

18 Jul

If someone is not treating you with love and respect,

it is a gift if they walk away from you.

If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her.

Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal.

Then you can choose what you really want.

You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.

-Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

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The Four Agreements is a valued reference book for me and many others.

I always come back to its wisdom and simplistic teachings as life always presents new lessons and challenges.

For more information on author Don Miguel Ruiz, please click on this link: http://www.miguelruiz.com/

*Please note that there is a companion book to the four agreements for those that want to do further inner work.

It is called The Four Agreements Companion Book: Using the Four Agreements to Master the Dream of Your Life.

There is also a fifth agreement book that expands on the four agreements.

It is called The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery.

Don Miguel Ruiz also has a blog.

Please click this link if you are interested: http://www.miguelruiz.com/blog/

Peace & Namaste…

Break Me Gently…Honesty Breaks Down Walls in High Fidelity

14 Jul

News | How Erykah Badu Broke it Off With Rapper Common! | Singersroom

The reason that I decided to share this is because I wanted to briefly discuss break-ups.

I really respect how Erykah Badu was so honest with Common.

Although it hurt him to tell him the truth about her change of heart, in the end it was better for Common. 

He grew and learned from the experience.

It was his first love and first heart-break. Now he says that he and Erykah are “cool” again.

Why couldn’t everyone be so honest in regards to break-ups?

Imagine if someone told you the truth instead of a cheap, prostituted line…

“It’s not you, it’s me.” 

*Who really believes that anyway? Come on, please. Don’t even…

If people were more honest about why they really want to leave their significant other, then perhaps the other person would learn so much more and have better closure.

Perhaps this communication could break down some walls and infuse some new life in the old friendship and romance.

Who knows, perhaps this new-found honesty might create some new-found intimacy and the break-up might even be avoided.

Perhaps things fall apart to come together…

Perhaps I am dreaming of a utopian vision of reality because I know that most of the time things just fall apart.

{I know that relationships and break-ups especially are more complicated than this post describes}.

Regardless, if a couple has to part ways, it would be ideal if they each respected each other enough to really be honest with each other.

By not telling someone the truth, you are potentially taking away opportunities for growth. 

You are also really damaging their self-esteem, self-worth and confidence because they are left to wonder what is wrong with them.

They can only think that something is inherently wrong with themselves..

How else can they know what they did wrong if you don’t tell them? How else can they improve, learn, grow and change?

Thankfully one can still do some self-reflection in order to find healing, growth and closure on your own. 

You can learn from your mistakes.

*Of course your learning, growth and healing is not the other person’s responsibility.

{That is not at all what I am saying. Your learning, growth and healing is always your responsibility.

It would be so helpful to get that honesty, respect and communication from the person that once claimed to love and care about you}.

If both are ready and willing to battle their egos, then perhaps they can truly listen, share and learn.

At least both can learn what they did wrong from the mutual constructive criticism and feedback.

They will know why the other is jumping ship instead of just being left out in the cold  {or the rain} all alone.

Leaving someone guessing is just too cruel to do to someone’s heart, mind, life and soul- especially to someone who you used to like, love or at least be attracted to. This only further hurts someone that loved and adored you.

Don’t they deserve better from you?

{Leaving crumbs of false hope is an even more heartless thing to do to someone. Giving someone false hope so selfishly makes it painful for them to move on and to heal}. 

No one deserves to over-analyze and be haunted by what they possibly could have done wrong.They deserve better and if you are the dumped person, then so do you.

{Of course there always are exceptions and sadly not every break-up is amicable}.

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P.s. I highly recommend watching the movie High Fidelity (where most of the pictures from this post are from).

It is an excellent movie and my favourite break-up movie of all time next to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind}. 

Plus I adore John Cusack.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seSLhjX4uA0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxDMzbxPQx8&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmmq2ozbIFY&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puOQuQI83lw&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2oP8YO7F5A&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dRiD-giCTc&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeL32rVtvic&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmk12K5dFno&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ1vNa-fzX0&feature=fvwrel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b9rbDeE9ZE&feature=fvwrel

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I also recommend a song that I love called “Break Me Gently” by Doves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHtNGaaXSqs

It was part of the inspiration for this post {along with High Fidelity}.

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The learn more about Doves, please click here:

http://www.doves.net/

Love is Just A Bloodsport…Sneaker Pimps

20 Jun

There is something about listening to Sneaker Pimp’s Bloodsport that does something to me.

Chris Corner‘s angelic and seductive voice is so hypnotic.

The thesis of the song is that, “love is just a blood sport.”

Almost every one of us has been in a romantic situation where we have felt like we have gotten beat up emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and metaphorically; hence the bloodsport analogy.

{Other times perhaps we may have been the one instigating the fight}.

It seems as though when you become vulnerable, many times you are hurt.

One thing that I say all the time is that people often mistake kindness for weakness.

In this case, people can mistake love for foolishness and weakness.

For this reason, people tend to put up walls, put on masks and have knives up their sleeves to protect themselves from getting hurt. These same walls that protect you can eventually become a prison so you become mindful of how thick your walls are and of who you allow in.

It reminds me of one of my favourite Rumi quotes. {I have had this as my email signature for years and it is still there}.

“Your task is not to seek for love,

but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself

that you have built against it.”

-Rumi

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So one day you let the walls down and let someone in…

It is so beautiful when love is intimate, passionate, gentle and kind.

This is the utopian version of love- a compassionate union of souls; the type of love that Rumi wrote poems about- friendship set on fire- intimacy at its most pure, most spiritual and its best.

What are you but my spiritual reflection?

The truth is that as much as all of us want that type of love, we don’t always find it because it is so elusive and rare.

Most are not ready or brave enough for true intimacy- to open one’s soul to another- to be spiritually naked without any armour…to risk really getting hurt while loving.

As a friend always used to say,

“If you risk nothing,

you risk everything.”

The question is…are you willling to risk everything?

Love isn’t a bloodsport.

Bloodsport Lyrics:

I want to be a kid again
Come down having Sunday best
See me staying home bunking school
Knowing wrong from right just rules

I wish I’d never seen your face
Better done wonder phase
I need an echo, not your praise
Straying from the god you nailed

My mother, my mother, my mother never told
My mother, my mother, my mother never told me
Love is just a bloodsport
Love is just a bloodsport

‘Cause love is just a bloodsport
Love is just a bloodsport

Sex and love is not a game
A game is something you can win
Maybe something kind of fun
‘Cause love is just a bloodsport, son

My mother, my mother, my mother never told
My mother, my mother, my mother never told me

Never told me
Never told me

‘Cause love is just a bloodsport
Love is just a bloodsport
‘Cause love is just a bloodsport
Love is just a bloodsport

‘Cause love is just a bloodsport
Love is just a bloodsport
‘Cause love is just a bloodsport
Love is just a bloodsport

“Bloodsport” as written by Steve Strange, Rusty Egan, Billy Currie, Midge Ure, John Mcgeogh, David Tomlinson, Barry Adamson, Liam Coverdale-howe,, Chris Corner, Ian Pickering
Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group, EMI Music Publishing

Somebody That I Used To Know -Gotye featuring Kimbra

16 Feb

We all have somebody that we “used to know.”
That person from a past life that is now a ghost.
{Once so intimate, now so distant}.
Previously best friends and lovers, now old flames and strangers.

I’ve always wondered what kind of mathematics turns friends & lovers into strangers?


Is it time? Distance? Pain? Anger? Disappointment? Betrayal?
Worst of all: indifference?

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*I Love Gotye‘s Music & Videos!!!
He {Gotye/Wally de Backer} is so creative and talented.

Gotye sings this song with so much passion.

You can see it in his eyes.

Most likely this song comes out of life experience- like some great art does.

To learn more about this Australian musical genius, please click on this link:
 http://www.gotye.com/

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Somebody That I Used To Know lyrics

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing

And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I’d done

And I don’t wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know…

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing

And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

I used to know
That I used to know

Somebody…
*************

Peace & Namaste…