Tag Archives: Ethics

The Art of Listening In HBO’s In Treatment…

12 May

Listening is truly a lost art.

In Treatment Dr Paul Weston's Hand Gestures

How often do you encounter people in life that you can tell are obviously not listening? It is the most common experience.

Sadly, it has become rare when someone actually listens to you and values what you have to say. 

In Treatment Talk To Me

In Treatment was a half an hour drama on HBO that starred Gabriel Byrne. The show was about the art of listening, psychotherapy, dysfunctions, neuroses, ethics, fears, self-sabotage, mental illness, relationships, conflict, trauma, pain, suffering, healing, resilience, etc.

Compassion and humanity are at the root of psychotherapy and In Treatment respectively. They speak about the deep need to be listened to without judgment. I have a great respect for psychology. It was one of my areas of study and I have intuitively known it is my vocation since childhood.

In treatment was even studied in universities at the time {I am not sure if it still is}. Counselling psychology students discussed in treatment in classes. Its pedagogical purpose was to teach students how to live their potential as psychologist and to help their clients heal.

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In Treatment is like a prism that reflects the spectrum of humanity.

It can be Shakespearean in its dramatic storylines, intimate revelations and profound intellectual discussions.

{Side note: this is Paul’s wave machine in the introduction}.

It is a cerebral show that dives deep into the Alice in wonderland rabbit hole of the psyche. In treatment relies heavily on the art of acting. Gabriel and the rest of the cast really shine in this thirty-minute drama. The skilled actors play off the script, each other, emotions and body language. They have no special effects to rely on- just their acting skills. {Side note: Gabriel won a golden globe for his performance. Many other actors and the show itself were nominated for numerous awards}.

Gabriel’s character is the compassionate Dr.Paul Weston.

He is the wounded healer, secret keeper, listener, teacher and psychologist.

In Treatment He's Listening

Psychotherapy is based on trust and vulnerability- spiritual and emotional nakedness. There is a strong emotional connection between Paul and all of his patients. First, he has to earn their trust and convince them to trust him and open up.

He must analyze their issues beneath the masks they wear.

He has to discern the truth from lies, distortions and projections.

All of his patients have complex problems and dysfunctional patterns of behaviour.

Some are based on the complexities of being in a relationship and sharing a life with someone despite conflicting personalities or desires. With Jake and Amy, Paul is a mediator between them. He uses conflict resolution, helps them clarify their real issues/emotions and helps them decide on their course of action.

Others are more individual problems with roots in childhood.

Regardless of how the trauma manifests itself, what is evident is that Paul is responsible for his patients.

In some cases, he is the only person that his patients have to rely on. 

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In treatment examines many themes. One is the issue of transference.

Transference can happen in the therapeutic process. The psychologist has to maintain their boundaries and respect their professional code of ethics.

How do you treat a patient that thinks they are in love with you?

What if they insist on their declarations of love?

What if they play mind games and employ manipulation?

How do navigate that?

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Intergenerational trauma is another topic that is examined in the show.

Alex is not even aware of the impact of how his father murdered his grandfather traumatized him. He is also not conscious of how his childhood and his father’s toxic masculinity traumatized him.

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How do you deal with the emotional impact of listening to people’s problems all day?

Many psychologists go to their own psychologist for therapy and to consult about their patients. Paul goes to Gina for this purpose. Their relationship is quite strained but he desperately needs that outlet.

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Some quotes from this video stood out to me in particular…

“It is hard to see so many people in pain and not be able to do anything to help them in some way.” -Paul

“Maybe helping is easier than feeling the pain.” -Laura

I can attest to this feeling of helplessness. It is very painful for me to see or know that someone is in pain without being able to do anything to ease their suffering.

Laura’s observation has some merit. Sometimes it is easier to help than feel. Sometimes it just hurts too much.

“We are not Gods, we can’t save anybody.” -Gina

Gina’s statement is true.

We cannot save anybody.

We can only help them to save themselves.

“It is possible to live in a world where people panic, where people let each other down, where they disappoint each other but still help each other out.” -Paul

I think this is the most realistic observation.

It is still possible to help each other despite our flaws and limitations.

Paul asks Alex where he wants his therapy to lead him. He answers painfully, “some place where I feel less shitty about myself.”

There is something in Blair Underwood’s voice when he says “some place where I feel less shitty about myself.” We can all relate to this sentiment.

“I thought that is what we are on the earth for- to help each other- to step up to the plate when somebody needs us.” -Paul

I have to agree with Paul.

I think it is noble to derive your life’s purpose from altruism and compassion.

Finding meaning in helping others is something I can deeply relate to.

“There are other places where you can feel safe and here in this room is one of those places.” -Paul

The therapist’s office is like a sanctuary from the chaos of the world.

Paul really wants to help his patients find their own answers to enlighten themselves, empower themselves and solve their problems.

With Sophie, Paul wanted her to have her own epiphanies.

In this scene, Sophie has empowered herself enough to confront her father on his abandonment and absence as a father.

Paul’s role is not to be the judge but to guide them to reconnect and re-establish their relationship. The journey is painful but worthwhile.

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Paul’s observations/analysis is incisive.

He really gets to the root of his patient’s suffering.

{It reminds me of Robin Williams’ character the psychologist Sean McGuire in Goodwill Hunting}.

His patients always challenge him and often test his boundaries.

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It should be noted that Paul has his own problems to contend with.

I think it is vital to observe that psychologists are human and imperfect. They have to deal with their own life and its challenges while trying to help others heal and figure out their life’s labyrinth.

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Happy birthday to Gabriel Byrne today!!!

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Further Research

Gabriel Byrnehttps://www.byrneholics.com/

Gabriel Byrne’s Internet Movie Database Page

In TreatmentIn Treatment’s Internet Movie Database Page

In Treatment’s HBO Page

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Have you watched In Treatment?

What did you think?

You can watch it on HBO’s website {for a price}.

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Rest in peace to Irrfan Khan who recently died {April 29th, 2020}.

He brilliantly played Sunil in the third season.

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Peace & Compassion,

-V.

Stream of Consciousness Reflections…The Spiritual Lessons of The Pandemic…

16 Apr

Aloha dear friends/readers.

How is life treating you? I pray well.

I started this blog many years ago to reflect on life,  ideas, theories, philosophies, truths, emotions, people, the world, the inner workings of my mind, etc.

Perhaps it was also an attempt to access the locked room in my mind- my subconscious.

I have always lived a life of quiet reflection to connect more deeply with my spirituality and my self. Now I think it is the quintessential time for all of us to reflect on the life we were living and how we are living now. This pandemic and quarantine have taught us all so much. {I am aware that our lessons are tailored to each of us}.

What is still important? What remnants of the past carry over to the present? Are your ethics and priorities the same? Do you have more clarity now? Will the changes in ourselves, in others and our lives be sustainable? We will go back to how we were when this over? Hopefully, we are fluid like the ebbs and flows of the ocean. 

I am reflecting on what I am supposed to learn and the hidden lessons in the chaos.

Compassion is still the highest form of love because it is spiritual love.

Altruism exists– even though the critics/haters disagree. {Unfortunately, selfishness also exists}.

We are all interconnected. We all affect each other and in some cases, we all need each other. {Perhaps now we can see the invisible threads that unite us. The ego always works to disconnect us from each other through the illusion of seperation}. In essence, we are all waves in the same ocean of humanity.

Courage can be born out of necessity.

Health is wealth.

Reflection/inner introspection is a vital and meditative activity for your soul and mind.

Fear can seduce us into paralysis if we let it.

Creative problem-solving is vital in life.

We all need to take care of our mental health {as well as our physical health}- especially now. Depression and anxiety can slowly invite its way into our lives if we are not mindful.

People mean more to us than we realized- especially loved ones or family.

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Please enjoy Ocean by Azam Ali featuring Loga Ramin Torkia

{This song and Azam Ali’s singing gives me such peace}…

So does seeing the beautiful cinematography that showcases the exquisite beauty of Mexico.

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What are your lessons from the pandemic and quarantine?

I would love to hear them.

I hope to share more lessons in the future…

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Further Research…

Azam Alihttps://azamalimusic.com/

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Peace & Compassionate Love,

-V.

 

Stream of Consciousness Reflections…An Eye For An Eye

8 Jan

Aloha. What do you think about revenge? To be honest, I never fully digested the concept of revenge. Of course, I understood it but only on a superficial level. It was only after certain events that I came to a working definition of the desire for revenge.

Revenge seduces us into choosing it as a response to injustice or evil.

Life puts us to the test and in these moments we discover what we truly believe in. It is a sobering realization to acknowledge these desires in your being. We all have an ideal version of ourselves and how we would react when someone hurts us or our loved ones. Sometimes reality manifests itself differently and we don’t always live up to our idealized selves or react how we imagined we would. 

Johnny Depp Revenge

I always found this quote by Johnny Depp so intriguing and dark…

Now I understand people’s thirst for revenge but it somehow still feels wrong inside. Taking revenge would change who you are and compromise your ethics. I don’t feel that it is right to allow others to change who we are {even though sometimes it happens without our knowledge or consent}.

I have a post on revenge saved in my drafts folder. Perhaps I need to post it. Maybe this stream of consciousness reflection is telling me to do just that.

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Please enjoy An Eye For An Eye by UNKLE….

Lyrics

“Even now in heaven there were angels carrying savage weapons.

An eye for an eye A tooth for a tooth Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide

An eye for an eye A tooth for a tooth Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide

Does our rule benefit the earth?

Does it help the grass to grow? 

The sun to shine?

Is this darkness in you too?

Have you passed through this Night?

Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide

When you’re going you’re not coming back from

Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide

An eye for an eye A tooth for a tooth

Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide

An eye for an eye A tooth for a tooth

Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide

This great Evil… Where’s it coming from?

How’d it steal into the world?

Who’s doing this?

Who’s killing us?

Mocking us with the sight of what we might have known

Run, run, run… Run, run, run…

An eye for an eye… A tooth for a tooth…

Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide

An eye for an eye… A tooth for a tooth…

Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide

(An eye for an eye…)

Are you righteous?

(A tooth for a tooth…)

Kind?

(Run, run, run but you sure can’t hide…)

Does your confidence lie in this?

(An eye for an eye…)

Are you loved by all?

(A tooth for a tooth…)

Do you imagine your sufferings would be less?

(Run, run run, but you sure can’t hide…)

Because you loved goodness and truth?

An eye for an eye…

A tooth for a tooth…

Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide

Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide…

What are you to me?”

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Peace & Namaste…

Reflection for today…Nobility In Poverty -Ricky Gervais

1 Dec

In this short video clip, master comedian Ricky Gervais reflects on money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m1gkZTUG4s

Ricky acknowledges that he was poor as his family was a working class family that lived in a council estate.

He was unaware of his social status because everyone around him was in the same situation. There was no juxtaposition until he got to university.

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Ricky Gervais lives by the Bob Dylan quote,

“A man can consider himself a success if he gets up in the morning, goes to bed at night and in between does exactly what he wants.”

Ricky has artistic integrity in all of his creative endeavors.

Ricky Gervais Wishes You Financial & Creative Success…

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His raw honesty comes forth in his admission of guilt regarding his new-found wealth.

He struggled with wealth because of his belief in the nobility in poverty.

One gets the sense that Ricky has contempt for rich people. Perhaps this is due to his humble upbringing and working class sensibilities.

I think Ricky has contempt for greed.

What is noble is that he wants to be proud of how he earns his money and consequent success.

Ricky’s work ethic/discipline, ethics and talent guide him in his work.

He is quite involved in animal rights, social activism, humanitarian efforts and charities. 

Ricky uses comedy as a societal mirror to criticize issues that desperately need it.

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The clip ends on a somewhat ambivalent note.

He states that he does not understand making money yet he concludes that he makes money.

I think what Ricky is saying is that he does not strive to make more money for the sake of making money.

He seems content with the success he already has instead of playing the money chasing game.

It is so refreshing for a person of his stature to adopt this attitude.

In that satisfaction lies another kind of wealth- creative satisfaction.

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Do you think there is nobility in poverty?

What about wealth?

Do you agree or disagree with Ricky Gervais?

Why or why not?

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For more information…

Ricky Gervais…http://www.rickygervais.com

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Peace & Namaste…

Reflection for today…Heartless People -Charles Bukowski

11 Feb

“People are not good to each other.

Perhaps if they were our deaths would not be so sad.” 

Charles Bukowski

Love is a Dog from Hell

Something happened this past Friday that inspired this post.

That day I lost my faith in people.

{I hope to get it back}.

For now, I am left thinking that most people mistake kindness for weakness.

People can be so heartless, cold and cruel.

Bukowski said it is such a sadness that we are not that good to each other while we are alive.

I totally agree with him that we should treat each other better while we are still alive- while we still have time.

There won’t be any wasted regrets this way.

Well, you can only try your best.

At least your conscience will be crystal clear.

What matters most is if you can look in the mirror and look yourself in the eyes and be proud of who are.

If you can be true to yourself and your ethics, then you have been authentic.

You have been real.

You have been truly honest.

You have integrity, dignity/honour and character.

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Please enjoy “A House” by Doves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IaMARfHUik

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For more information…

Charles Bukowski…http://bukowski.net/ 

Doves…http://www.dovesmusicblog.com/

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Peace & Namaste…