Compassion, Creativity, Buddhism, The Quest for Truth & Wisdom, Health & Wellness, Music, Films, Literature, Art, Revolution, Healing, Critical Thinking, Mental Health Advocacy, Social Justice, Resilience, Reflection, The Beauty of Melancholy, Spiritual Development, Consciousness, LOVE…
“No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one.
No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow.
All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning.” ―Haruki Murakami,
It is painfully obvious that Eric is deeply mourning Jimi. Their friendship had a sacred place in his life. It was a friendship based on mutual respect and admiration. It was a friendship of equals.
Jimi Hendrix & Eric Clapton in 1967
Eric is overcome with a tidal wave of melancholy while speaking about Jimi. A sense of anger is also present in his voice. Perhaps it is the sense of hopelessness over what happened. The sad truth is that no matter how much we love someone, we cannot save them from anything- especially from death.
Death tries to steal our greatest loves from us.
Death is the greatest thief.
*
Eric speaks about the feelings of abandonment he felt when Jimi died, “a lonely feeling to be left alone.” This comment reminds me of how death affects the loved ones left behind. Somehow they have to be resilient in order to continue on with their lives despite their pain and grief. The hole in one’s heart is left there forever. Time is irrelevant in grief. I really admire people for their strength in being able to live their lives despite their grief, suffering and losses. They truly have my utmost respect.
*
Eric’s story about the birthday gift he bought for Jimi was so heartfelt. He bought him a left-handed Fender stratocaster guitar but due to circumstances, he was unable to give it to him that night. Unfortunately, he was never able to give it Jimi because he died. Eric notes, “The next day, wack, he was gone and I was left with that left-handed stratocaster.” When he looks at the interviewer it looks like he is holding back tears. You can see the pain in his eyes- in his soul.
It is so tragic when loved ones are taken from us. I recently lost someone and no matter how many times it has happened, you are never ready for it. You are always left broken, bloody, bruised, raw and spiritually naked. Grieving takes a lot out of you- especially if you are a sensitive soul like myself. This is the reason why I have been away so long from this blog. I needed some time to reflect and grieve on my own. Hopefully I can reflect with you all now. If you are still here, thank you for still being here. Thank you for reading.
Hello everyone. I thought I would start this year’s blog posts with a memento mori reflection on death and life. Since it is impossible to divorce death from life, we can use reflective energy to focus on how we want to live.
The beauty that Brandon Lee speaks with is eloquent, timeless and utterly peaceful. I am sure most of you know that Brandon was tragically killed while filming The Crow in 1993. This video clip was shot a little while before he died.
{I hope to do a post on The Crow and possibly Brandon Lee in the future}.
Let’s reflect on life and death with the same peace and gratitude that Brandon exudes.
Brandon Lee…A Beautiful Soul That Lived With Electric Vitality
and yet everything happens only a certain number of times and a very small number, really.
How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood?
An afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it. Perhaps four, five times more. Perhaps not even that.
How many more times will you watch the full moon rise?
Perhaps twenty and yet it all seems limitless.”
-From the book The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles
This quote is on Brandon’s Tombstone. Brandon is buried next to his father Bruce Lee in the Lake View Cemetary in Seattle, Washington.
Here is a closer look…
Brandon loved this quote so much that he had chosen it for his wedding invitations.
He was to be married to his soul mate Eliza Hutton one week after he finished filming The Crow on April 17th, 1993. Brandon tragically died on March 31st, 1993.
“Rows of houses all bearing down on me I can feel their blue hands touching me All these things into position All these things we’ll one day swallow whole And fade out again and fade out
This machine will not communicate These thoughts and the strain I am under Be a world child, form a circle Before we all go under And fade out again and fade out again
Cracked eggs, dead birds Scream as they fight for life I can feel death, can see it’s beady eyes All these things into position All these things we’ll one day swallow whole And fade out again and fade out again
Immerse your soul in love Immerse your soul in love.”
SONG INFORMATION
Released: March 1995 Found on: The Bends & Street Spirit single. Acoustic version found on Fake Plastic Trees CD2.
This song was written in 1993, around the same time as “My Iron Lung.” “Creep” is Radiohead’s American hit, this is the British equivalent. Noted by singer-songwriter and guitarist Thom Yorke as “one of [the band’s] saddest songs” and describing it as “the dark tunnel without the light at the end,” “Street Spirit” was released as the band’s ninth single and reached number five on the UK Singles Chart, the highest chart position the band achieved until “Paranoid Android” from OK Computer, which reached number three in 1997.
Yorke has suggested that the song was inspired by the 1991 novel The Famished Road, written by Ben Okri, and that its music was inspired by R.E.M. The track is built around a soft melody in A minor with an arpeggio (broken chord) guitar part.
Thom: “Street Spirit is our purest song, but I didn’t write it. It wrote itself. We were just its messengers; its biological catalysts. Its core is a complete mystery to me, and, you know, I wouldn’t ever try to write something that hopeless. All of our saddest songs have somewhere in them at least a glimmer of resolve. Street Spirit has no resolve. It is the dark tunnel without the light at the end. It represents all tragic emotion that is so hurtful that the sound of that melody is its only definition. We all have a way of dealing with that song. It’s called detachment. Especially me; I detach my emotional radar from that song, or I couldn’t play it. I’d crack. I’d break down on stage. That’s why its lyrics are just a bunch of mini-stories or visual images as opposed to a cohesive explanation of its meaning. I used images set to the music that I thought would convey the emotional entirety of the lyric and music working together. That’s what’s meant by ‘all these things you’ll one day swallow whole’. I meant the emotional entirety, because I didn’t have it in me to articulate the emotion. I’d crack…
Our fans are braver than I to let that song penetrate them, or maybe they don’t realise what they’re listening to. They don’t realise that Street Spirit is about staring the fucking devil right in the eyes, and knowing, no matter what the hell you do, he’ll get the last laugh. And it’s real, and true. The devil really will get the last laugh in all cases without exception, and if I let myself think about that too long, I’d crack.
I can’t believe we have fans that can deal emotionally with that song. That’s why I’m convinced that they don’t know what it’s about. It’s why we play it towards the end of our sets. It drains me, and it shakes me, and hurts like hell every time I play it, looking out at thousands of people cheering and smiling, oblivious to the tragedy of its meaning, like when you’re going to have your dog put down and it’s wagging its tail on the way there. That’s what they all look like, and it breaks my heart. I wish that song hadn’t picked us as its catalysts, and so I don’t claim it. It asks too much. I didn’t write that song.”
Larry observes that religious people tend to be happier than their non-religious or atheist/agnostic counterparts.
He thinks that it is because they have the concept of heaven/the afterlife to look forward to.
{This belief in an afterlife reduces or eliminates the fear of death and existential angst. He notes that this is a huge advantage over the non-religious}.
Larry thinks that it is not possible to be happy if you don’t have job satisfaction, sexual satisfaction or a decent level of financial success.
Do you agree or disagree with him?
What about rich people who are unhappy or poor people who are happy?
He says that he always had a desire to travel and move.
In his birthplace of Ireland, Gabriel feels that he is always colliding with his past.
He feels defined by his past in Dublin.
Whereas in New York he feels that he has a clean slate- a tabula rasa where he is “free to compose his own present.”
Gabriel lived in Los Angeles for five years but he decided to leave. He feels that when you live in a place without clearly defined seasons, your sense of time becomes distorted. Time passes almost invisibly yet quickly.
*
Gabriel decided to move to New York and he lives there presently.
He compares Los Angeles to New York and he focuses on their restless nature.
“It’s a restless city…Los Angeles even more so than New York is a city where people come to…it has to exist for those people who can’t exist in places outside of it.
It exists for people who become in a way…who outgrow or out-dream or out-fantasize their own places
For Gabriel, Los Angeles is a land of paradox.
It offers new beginnings and freedom yet an ambiance of melancholy haunts it.
He notes, “The sense of freedom and light and being able to re-invent oneself is very strong there…but there’s also a sense of melancholy that pervades the place.”
I found the following observation to be the most intriguing.
“It is a place where people think that if they get successful enough, they are not going to die.”
In essence, Gabriel is using memento mori to analyze people’s avoidance of death. It is almost as if success was used as a passport out of death.
This incisive observation is very Buddhist as Buddha believe in impermanence {i.e. everything dies}.
*
One doesn’t need to have a gypsy soul to want to move or travel.
We’ve all dreamed of moving our proverbial roots to far away magical lands.
I know I have…
I believe the term is called wanderlust.
*
Ireland is definitely one of the countries that I long to visit.
Majestic Ireland…
It is the birth place of two of my favourite actors Jonathan Rhys Meyers and of course Gabriel Byrne. They often speak about Ireland’s sublime beauty.
Ireland’s Majestic Northern Lights…
To be honest there are so many places I would love to visit.
Since I was a child I fell in love with Egyptian history and mythology.
Ancient Egypt has fascinated me and still fascinates me to this day.
Egypt is one place I would love to visit.
Egypt: A Land of Alchemical Beauty
Iceland also seems like a mystical land full of haunting beauty.
The Magical Northern Lights in Iceland…
I would love to experience the northern lights- aurora borealis.
I would love to experience the beauty of Iceland that resonates in the music of Björk and Sigur Rós.
Buddha’s reflection on time is that it is taken for granted.
Time is of the essence because death is approaching {memento mori}.
Being mindful gives us awareness of how we use our time. Hopefully our time is being used living our potential and awakening spiritually and otherwise.
The key is to live in the present moment {the now} and do your very best.
*
I wonder about Buddhist conceptions of time.
I found an intriguing excerpt on Buddhist notions of time from www.tricycle.com
Daniel Goleman: “What is the Buddhist understanding of Time? How can we relate our sense of the process of time to our experience of the present moment?
His Holiness the Dalai Lama:In Buddhism, the concept of linear time, of time as a kind of container, is not accepted. Time itself, I think, is something quite weak. It depends on some physical basis, some specific thing. Apart from that thing it is difficult to pinpoint—to see time. Time is understood or conceived only in relation to a phenomenon or a process.
DG: Yet the passage of time seems very concrete—the past, the present, aging. The process of time seems very real.
HH: This business of time is a difficult subject. There are several different explanations and theories about time; there is no one explanation in Buddhism. I feel there is a difference between time and the phenomena on which time is projected. Time can be spoken of only in relation to phenomena susceptible to change, which because they are susceptible to change are transitory and impermanent. “Impermanent” means there is a process. If there is no process of change, then one cannot conceive of time in the first place.
The question is whether it is possible to imagine an independent time which is not related to any particulars, any object that goes through change. In relation to such an object, we can talk about the past of that thing, its present state, and its future; but without relation to such particulars, it is very difficult to conceive of an instant of time totally independent of a particular basis.”
As you probably know, we are all going to die one day.
As we become aware of that, we should surrender to life with much more joy, making things we always postpone, respecting the precious minutes that are passing by and will never come back, disclosing and discovering horizons that can be interesting or disappointing, but deserve at least a little bit of our effort.
It’s normal that we try to avoid death.
It isn’t only normal, it’s the healthiest attitude we can adopt. It is an aberration however to deny it, as the awareness of it lends us much more courage.
If I were to die today, what would I like to do that I haven’t done yet? This is my thought every morning. I learned, along the Saint James Path, that the Angel of Death is my best counsellor.
Yamamoto Tsunetomo says to his disciple: ‘All of us want to live and that is absolutely natural. However, we should learn from childhood on to choose our best way to die.
‘If we don’t do that, we end up spending our days like a dog, only in search of harbour, food and expressing a blind loyalty to his owner in return. That isn’t enough to make our lives have a meaning.’
It is no use in trying to create a world apparently safe and I can find nothing better to explain that than a little story by John O’Hara:
A man goes to the market to buy fruits, when he sees his own Death walking among the people.
Desperate, he runs back and asks his employer to exempt him that day, as he had seen his Death from close.
His boss lets him go to his village, but starts thinking that all that might have been a lie. He goes to the market and really sees his employee’s Death, sitting in a bank.
He complains: ‘But what are you doing here? My servant was surprised to see you and because of that I had to dismiss him from work!” ‘I was surprised to see him here as well,’ Death answers.
‘I have a date with him at five o’clock, at his village, and as it seems, he will escape me!’
The employer thinks of calling his worker back, but it is already late. Destiny will be fulfilled as it had been written, especially because the man was afraid of Death and decided to run away.
Suicide is a very uncomfortable and necessary subject to discuss.
I recently came across a YouTube video that left such an impact on me that I was not able to write a blog post until now {approx. 18 days}.
The vice documentary left such a deep impression on me that I had to reflect for a while before I could decide what to write.
*
Japan’s Aokigahara (青木ヶ原) forest also known as the Sea of Trees (樹海 Jukai) or the Suicide forest is a place where many people go to contemplate suicide.
Sadly, many actually commit suicide.
I feel so much compassion for people who are considering suicide as a way to end their pain.
I strongly believe that people do not actually want to die but to end their pain and they do not see another way to achieve this.
Below is an actual suicide note found in the forest.
I find it heart breaking.
*
Many moons ago, I had a friend that was considering suicide.
I pray that he finds the strength to fight against his darkness.
I am still haunted by the fact that he felt this depressed but I could not do anything to heal his pain.
I know that only he can heal his pain.
I did my best to be a loving friend but I know that we cannot truly save anyone.
We can only save ourselves.
In fact, we always had a friendly argument about saving and being saved.
It revolved around the graphic novel and film Sin City.
Conversely, I went for a different thesis. I said that you can love someone so much that you get out of hell because of your love for them and possibly their love for you. Your love for them is so powerful and/or their love for you is so strong that you pull yourself up with your own strength and get out of hell- your personal hell or the other kind. In essence, you save yourself instead of saving someone else.
No one was right or wrong. It was fun to discuss but I stand by my point of view even though I recognize his had merit. It all depends on how you look at things. It was a healthy discussion nonetheless.
*
Can we actually save someone?
Dita Von Teese & Marilyn Manson in Vogue Magazine Photo By Steven Klein
Azusa Hayano makes me question my beliefs that we cannot save anyone but ourselves.
I do believe we can help someone to save themselves and this is what I think he does so brilliantly and compassionately.
*
We meet an extraordinary soul, Azusa Hayano, in this vice documentary.
He is a geologist that does the most important job of suicide patrol in the forest. {I discovered from another video that the police also seem to do suicide patrol}.
Azusa also studies how people co-exist with nature because he says it is part of environmental research.
He still does not know why people kill themselves in such a beautiful forest (18:53) although he does explain that it may be because of a popular book written in the past.
*
Azusa patrols the forest looking for people who are contemplating suicide in hopes of convincing them otherwise.
He even finds a man in a yellow tent that appears to have been contemplating suicide. According to the VICE website comments found at http://www.vice.com/vice-news/aokigahara-suicide-forest-v3, the man in the yellow tent had been camping in the forest for one month. He had to be taken out in an ambulance.
*
The police even put up signs to try to stop people from committing suicide. They also provide the number for suicide hotlines.
*
I found it fascinating that many people leave a trail of tape to find their way back in case they change their mind. This is hopeful because people who are undecided can finally decide to leave the forest.
*
With his gentle and compassionate manner, one can see how Azusa could convince someone who is struggling to live.
I was struck by how much this man cares.
He really cares and that is so rare these days.
In a forest where traditional compasses do not work, Azusa uses his compassion and wisdom as his guides.
He also looks for people who have committed suicide.
*
Azusa reminds me of the value of a life and how much difference one life can make in the world.
If we could find our purpose and live our potential, then we could make our contribution- our gift to the world.
We need more people like Azusa in this world.
We need more people who really care and have compassion for those who are suffering. I don’t know if he technically “saves” anyone but he does help people to save themselves and this is priceless.
Azusa is actually living the Buddha’s teachings- especially that of compassion.
I am also reminded by how the absence of one life can be a tear in the fabric of existence and humanity. I think about how that person had so much more life to live, love and wisdom to give and receive, experiences to be had and potential to be lived.
I think of the apocalyptic loss for their loved ones.
*
Azusa states in the documentary that the internet and technology may be the reason why there is such a disconnection between oneself and others. It is as if a schism is caused between our waking lives and our onscreen lives. Our lack of face-to-face communication has a price. Disconnection, depression, further loneliness and numbness may develop. Azusa discusses the human need for connection in real life- not through the filter of a computer screen.
“Face-to-face communication used to be vital, but now we can live our lives being online all day. However, the truth of the matter is that we still need to see each other’s faces, read their expressions, hear their voices, so we can fully understand their emotions to coexist.” -Azusa Hayano
*
The essence of what Azusa teaches and lives is filled with compassion and wisdom.
This documentary also reminds me of the urgent need to discuss mental health issues.
I am and continue to be a mental health advocate.
I deeply believe in the strength and resilience of the human spirit.
We can transcend our suffering and transform it into something beautiful and meaningful.
The phoenix always rises from the ashes…
*
To those of you suffering and feeling depressed…I offer you my compassion.
This post is for you.
Please speak to someone who cares- even if they are a stranger.
You will never know what a difference it could make in your life. They might have some life changing wisdom to give you or messages from the universe.
*Please reach out to someone.
I pray that the Buddha’s teachings, wisdom and compassion can alleviate your suffering.
Conversely, you never know how you can help someone who is suffering and in need.
You never know what impact you can have on someone’s life- even a stranger.
We are all interconnected.
By helping others we are actually helping ourselves.
“I’ve been living here for more than 30 years. My job is mainly environmental protection, I study volcanic eruptions and the plantation at the foot of Mt. Fuji.
In the year 864, Mt. Fuji erupted, and the forest that grew over the dried lava was named “Jukai” or “Sea of Trees”. Aokigahara is the actual name of the place, but people started calling it “Jukai”, because the forest as seen from halfway up of Mt. Fuji, is green all year round, and it looks like the ocean.
We’re entering the forest now. There’s a car that’s been abandoned for a few months, let’s take a look. I’m assuming the owner of the car went in from here and never came out. I guess they went into the forest with troubled thoughts.
In the old days in Japan, suicide was mainly known as the samarai’s act, as in “Seppuku” (harakari). In other cases poor families would abandon their elders in the mountains. That’s how it was back then, they weren’t killing themselves cause they couldn’t adapt to society. That didn’t happen like it does now, it’s a modern phenomenon.
This is a sign to stop suicidal people.
“Your life is a precious gift from your parents, Please think about your parents, siblings, and children. Don’t keep it to yourself. Talk about your troubles.”
Then it says to contact the Suicide Prevention Association.
Locals don’t commt suicide here. As children they’re told not to come near here, that it’s a scary forest. This path is open for the public, but you can’t follow the trail beyond this point. It says not to enter because you can easily get lost. In the Jukai, I think I’ve found more than… 100 suicide corpses in the last 20 years or so.
I found something strange, I’ll show you. People who are indecisive about dying, wrap this tape on trees along their way, so they can find their way out. There’s something that looks like a tent. I’m going to see if anyone’s inside, please wait here.” -Azusa Hayano, geologist
The forest is a popular place for suicides, reportedly the world’s second most popular suicide location after San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge. This popularity is often attributed to the 1960 novel Nami no To by Seicho Matsumoto, which ends with two lovers committing suicide in the forest. However, the history of suicide in Aokigahara dates from before the novel’s publication, and the place has long been associated with death: ubasute was allegedly practiced there into the 19th century, and the forest is reputedly haunted by the ghosts of those left to die…”
Here is a short video about the Aokigahara forest and the plague of suicide in Japan (2:34). There is thought to be one suicide every fifteen minutes in Japan.
An expert postulates that societal pressures and culture is to blame for the high suicide rate in Japan (1:55). He notes that even from a young age weakness is not allowed to be displayed.
“Whether it is within the family, at work or in society, it is very hard to show weakness. From a very young age, from primary school on, dynamic and happy kids are held up as examples to follow. If you don’t live up to that, other people treat you harshly and that’s is why people don’t ask for help.”
It is intriguing to note that Dante wrote about a suicide forest.
His writing was also translated into art.
Dante Alighieri’s Inferno from the Original by Dante Alighieri and Illustrated with the Designs of Gustave Doré (New York: Cassell Publishing Company, 1890).
Dante Alighieri’s Inferno from the Original by Dante Alighieri and Illustrated with the Designs of Gustave Doré (New York: Cassell Publishing Company, 1890).
“This is the end My only friend, the end Of our elaborate plans, the end Of everything that stands, the end No safety or surprise, the end I’ll never look into your eyes…again…”
{I apologize but I was unable to embed or send this video as those options were not available. If you could help me to embed this video from the internet archive, then I would be ever so grateful}.
I copied and pasted the description of the interview from the show’s web site:
“…The basis for a searching interview, in which Gabriel talks engagingly and openly about his life: his decision to enter a UK seminary at the age of eleven; his experiences of clerical sexual abuse; his reasons for giving up on any idea of priesthood and his search for another vocation, which found fulfilment in acting; his relationships with the two key women in his life, Aine O’Connor and Ellen Barkin; his on-going struggle with twin demons – alcoholism and depression – in which he knows he is far from alone in this country; and the reason he thinks so much about death.”
*
Gabriel says that alcoholism and depression are seen as moral failings– as if something is wrong with the person for being “weak” or “not good enough.” These feelings of inadequacy have probably existed before. They only become exacerbated with drinking and by the judgment of others.
***Alcohol only adds fuel to the fire.***
He also notes that alcoholism and depression are often intertwined; hence the “twin demons” reference. They are so inextricably linked that I wonder how one can be divorced from the other. I don’t believe that they can- especially since alcoholism is a depressant. People drink to get out of depression. The more they drink, the more depressed they become;hence, the vicious and self-destructive cycle continues.
Gabriel says that, “Part of the disease of alcoholism is removing yourself from reality as quickly as possible.” Essentially he is describing an emotional disconnection, spiritual disconnection- numbness. He describes binge drinking as a plague because people emotionally disconnect from themselves, from others and from life.
I think it is vital for people to be honest about depression and addiction {in any form}. Awareness and honesty is what will give them insight. Courage will allow them to look in the mirror and take the first step on the path to healing.
Then people can start to fight their demons.
I pray that they win.
*People suffering from any addiction or illness need our compassion.
{You never know if your compassion can give them strength to battle their demons and to heal}.
“…If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving
and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death…”
For more information on Paulo Coelho,
Love You Jimi…
