Tag Archives: Confrontation

Self-Love Reflections…Power Is Not Being Destroyed By Rejection -Madonna

14 Sep

I fell in love with Madonna’s reflection. It resonated with me very deeply. I found Madonna’s observation to be wise and powerful. We are taught since childhood that the love others give us {or don’t give us} defines us. We are enslaved with a hunger for validation. What a challenge it is to emancipate yourself from this invisible slavery. {Social media has only exacerbated this problem}.

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Rejection manifests itself in a myriad of ways. Being told you are not loved is the most obvious. Being shown you are not loved is more insidious. I cannot discern which is more damaging. Whatever the situation is, rejection can haunt you- especially in childhood. Unfortunately, children tend to internalize rejection and take it personally.

Being rejected really tests your capacity to love yourself. Is receiving someone’s love a litmus test of your self-worth? Who gets to decide if you are “good enough?” Does rejection mean there is something inherently wrong with you? Are you going to throw your power away and shrink from rejection? It is so seductive to reject yourself because someone else did. {Did I mention how much it deeply hurts you- your heart, soul, ego, etc?}.

The aforementioned used to be my response as I misinterpreted rejection’s painful meaning. I would reject myself because someone else did. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have met rejection’s gaze many times and am learning from the confrontations. Now I see rejection as a test of self-love/self-worth/self-esteem/self-respect and an opportunity to build resilience.

I have broken away from those old toxic paradigms and I am healing those childhood wounds. Being rejected simply means that I am not that person’s cup of tea. There is nothing more to do than to move on. There is no need to try to convince the person of your value. If they don’t know what you are worth then that is your answer.

Walk away with your dignity intact.

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Further Research

Madonnahttps://www.madonna.com/

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Peace & Self-Love,

-V.

Reflection for today…Respect Yourself -Don Miguel Ruiz & Björk

5 Jan

“Everyone has a price, and life respects that price.

But that price is not measured in dollars or in gold;

It is measured in love.

More, than that, it is measured in self-love.

How much you love yourself–that is your price–

and life respects the price.

When you love yourself, your price is very high,

which means your tolerance for self-abuse is very low.

It’s very low because you respect yourself.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, Wisdom From The Mastery of Love

I Am Nobody's Bitch 001

When I was a child my mother taught me to respect people. What she didn’t tell me is that you need to have boundaries so that people will respect you. Not only do you have to have boundaries but you have to strictly enforce them as well.

I used to be so afraid of confrontations and of speaking up. I would always worry that I might upset, hurt or offend someone. To an extent, I was also afraid of being disliked and rejected. Since I did not like myself, I was so hungry for other people’s approval {even though I did not consciously know it at the time}.

The price of this silence was putting up with some disrespect. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t regret it because I deeply regret it. I also have to acknowledge that without these experiences, then I would not have come to these realizations.

They are lessons that I am still learning and life only keeps offering you more tests.

Being “nice” is an invitation for people to test your boundaries. These days, I would much rather have respect than just be a “nice” person. It seems like a universal law that unless you respect yourself then no one truly will.

Another thing that I learned is that some people do not deserve your respect or your presence in their lives. Please let me clarify what I mean. Everyone deserves basic respect as human beings. The respect that I am speaking about is the respect that people earn through their friendship, loyalty and compassion. Some people just do not deserve that level of respect from you. Some people do not deserve your friendship, loyalty and compassion.

Trust and respect need to be earned for them to hold any gravitas/weight.

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Please enjoy Army of Me by Bjork…

Lyrics

Army of Me

Björk

[Verse 1]
“Stand up
You’ve got to manage
I won’t sympathize
Anymore
[Chorus]
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me

[Verse 2]
You’re alright
There’s nothing wrong
Self-sufficience, please!
And get to work

[Chorus]
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me, army of me

[Verse 3]
You’re on your own now
We won’t save you
Your rescue squad
Is too exhausted

[Chorus]
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me

[Chorus]
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me, army of me.”

Copied & Pasted from https://genius.com/Bjork-army-of-me-lyrics

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Love & Respect,

-V.