“If a person has never encountered love towards himself or herself from any quarter, it is a very sad thing.
But if that person can meet even one person who will show unconditional love– simply acceptance and compassion – if he knows that he is an object of someone else’s affection and love, it is bound to have an impact, and this will be appreciated. Because there is a seed in himself, this act of love will start to catalyse or ripen that seed.”
Men and women whisper to each other because they have turned a sacred gesture into a sinful act.
This is the world in which we live. And while robbing the present moment of its reality can be dangerous, disobedience can also be a virtue, when we know how to use it.
If two bodies merely join together, that is not sex, it is merely pleasure.
Sex goes far beyond pleasure.
In sex, relaxation and tension go hand in hand, as do pain and pleasure, shyness and the courage to go beyond one’s limits.
How can such opposing states exist in harmony together?
There is only one way: by surrendering yourself.
Because the act of surrender means: ‘I trust you.’
It isn’t enough to imagine everything that might happen if we allowed ourselves to join not just our bodies, but our souls as well.
Let us plunge together, then, down the dangerous path of surrender.
It may be dangerous, but it is the only path worth following.
Let us forget all that we are taught about how it is noble to give and humiliating to receive.
Because for most people, generosity consists only in giving, but receiving is also an act of love.
Allowing someone else to make us happy will make them happy too.
“I’m living with your memory In the attic in my mind And you’ve been getting by without me But I’ve been spending all my time With a girl that I remember Who’ll never leave or need to grow Cos when you left you left your memory Now it’s the only thing I know
When the past gives me no comfort And though the future is the cost The way I’m choosing to remember I’ll forever be the man I never was
And you, you fade But the memory remains the same And I, I can’t change And I think that living with your memory Is slowly driving me insane
You are perfect but you’re empty And it gets so lonely in my mind Cos your image in my memory’s The only shred of you that’s left behind You were real but then you left me And that’s the part I can’t accept So I’ll keep on living with your memory Because it’s all that I’ve got left.”
“With his arms around your love Oh no, here comes the pain that you can’t ignore
With his arms around your girl He’ll do all of the things you didn’t do before You had every chance, but you closed the door
[Chorus] Now you’re just gonna have to take it (‘Cause if you didn’t know) She’s gonna make you pay for it (Price you can’t afford) You’re just gonna have to take it With his arms around your love [Repeat: x3]
Oh, yeah
Pretend that you don’t mind But you know everything that you left behind
And it would have been alright If you’d gave half of the praise that you held inside You thought she’d hang around for the ride
[Chorus]
Coming clean feels so dangerous Just a little bit would have been enough But you never said all the words caught in your head
As if your heart was dead Well now its surely bled and broken up
And it would have been alright If you’d gave half of the praise that you held inside You thought she’d hang around for the ride
[Chorus]
(Take it) With his arms around your love (Pay for it) With his arms around your love With his arms around your love With his arms around your love.”
I really feel that it complements Rumi’s poem “Love’s Alchemy.”
Isn’t the cello along with Jon Crosby’s soulful singing so hauntingly beautiful?
“Close your eyes let me touch you now let me give you something that is real close the door leave your fears behind let me give you what you’re giving me you are the only thing that makes me want to live at all when i am with you there’s no reason to pretend that when i am with you i feel flames again just put me inside you i would never ever leave just put me inside you i would never ever leave you.”
We need to love. Even when it leads us to the land where the lakes are made of tears, to that secret, mysterious place, the land of tears!
Tears speak for themselves. And when we feel that we have cried all we needed to cry, they still continue to flow. But when we believe that our life is destined to be a long walk through the Vale of Sorrows, the tears suddenly vanish.
Because we managed to keep our heart open, despite the pain.
Because we realised that the person who left us did not take the sun with them or leave darkness in their place. They simply left, and with every farewell comes a hidden hope.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
“Broken bottle won’t hurt me
Nothing worse that I have dreamed Gun shot in my chest you’ll leave
I can take that you will see
Late at night is when I dream
Horrible things are what I see
Hard for me to believe
I wake up and I won’t freeze
Car crash highway tragedy
Nothing worse than I have dreamed Loss of my best friend I grieve
I can take that you will see.”
“For those who are not frightened by the solitude that reveals all mysteries, everything will have a different taste.
In solitude, they will discover the love that might otherwise arrive unnoticed. In solitude, they will understand and respect the love that left them.
In solitude, they will be able to decide whether it is worth asking that lost love to come back or if they should simply let it go and set off along a new path.
In solitude, they will learn that saying ‘No’ does not always show a lack of generosity and that saying ‘Yes’ is not always a virtue.
And those who are alone at this moment, need never be frightened by the words of the devil: ‘You’re wasting your time.’ Or by the chief demon’s even more potent words: ‘No one cares about you.’
The Divine Energy is listening to us when we speak to other people, but also when we are still and silent and able to accept solitude as a blessing.
And in that moment, Its light illumines everything around us and helps us to see that we are necessary, and that our presence on Earth makes a huge difference to Its work.”
“Learning how to be kind to ourselves is important.
When we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn’t just ourselves that we’re discovering.
We’re discovering the universe.
When we discover the buddha that we are, we realize that everything and everyone is Buddha.
We discover that everything is awake, and everyone is awake.
Everything and everyone is precious and whole and good. When we regard thoughts and emotions with humor and openness, that’s how we perceive the universe.”
“Is it worse to stay where one does not belong at all than to wander about lost for a while and looking for the psychic and soulful kinship one requires”
“For those of you who want to attain enlightenment,
do not study many teachings.
Only study one.
What is it?
It is great compassion.
Whoever has great compassion has all Buddha’s qualities in his hand.”
-Buddha
Photo Courtesy of: http://www.tibetanecology.org/Tibetan-Tent_files/tibetan_contemporary_art_mantras.html Compassion Mantra: Om Ma Ni Pad Me Hum Art by: Artist: Tsultrim Gyatso “All the teachings of Buddha are contained within the six letters, also it is the embodiment of the compassion Buddha Avalokiteshvara. Tibetans believe that praying or chanting the mantra will increase your compassion and make closer your connection to the Buddha Avalokiteshvara eventually achieving Buddhahood.”
Photo Courtesy of: http://www.wiseattention.org/blog/2012/04/01/palden-gyatso/ This photo accompanies a sobering and inspiring articled entitled, ‘Compassion for My Torturer’: A Meeting With Palden Gyatso.” Written by: Vishvapani on http://www.wiseattention.org/ “Tibetan Buddhist monk, Palden Gyatso, spent 33 years imprisoned by the Chinese and drew deep on his Buddhist practice to survive his brutal treatment. He escaped to the West to tell his story and I met him in London to discuss his experiences his searing memoir, Fire Under the Snow.”
Angelina Jolie Photographed by: PER-ANDERS PETTERSSON The caption on his website: Darfur Refugees “Angelina Jolie, the Oscar winning actress and UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador, holds a mentally disturbed boy, as he is tied with a rope in a camp in Oure Cassoni, Chad, 2007. Angelina Jolie met the 7 year-old boy while spending two days visiting Oure Cassoni, a refugee camp close to the Sudan border. Almost 27,000 refugees lives there and it was opened in 2004.” “I also spent time with SOS Children’s villages staff, and we visited a 7-year-old boy that was held with a rope to a pole by his family. This to keep him from wandering away, they said. According to SOS, the boy saw his village bombed when he was 3- years old. He hid alone in the bush for 2 days before his family found him and they all fled across the border. SOS Children’s villages launched an emergency relief program for refugees from Darfur in 2006. They focus on providing psychosocial care for traumatized children and their parents. They presently care for about 230 children and adults. Many have been living in the camp since 2004. Many children experience symptoms such as nightmares, bedwetting and behavioral problems. These children are often in a state of anxiety and they often have hallucinations. The children attend group therapy sessions where they play, sing and paint. They work closely together with UNHCR and International Rescue Committee in the camp.”
Photo Courtesy of: http://www.soulcoin.com/HumilityandJoy.html The elements of this coin focus your attention on humble thoughts. In the center on the front is a door. This door is from the Maisel Synagogue in Prague. In regards to an arrogant person the Creator says: “I and he cannot dwell together.” The door to the Creator’s house allows for the humble of spirit to enter. The door itself, represented by the Hebrew letter Dalet, is the property of humility and lowliness. The letter Dalet is the large letter in the middle of the reverse side of the coin On the front, the phrase “I am but dust and ashes” , from Genesis 18:27, is written in English and Hebrew. Hebrew – V’anokhi `afar va’efer The plant below this phrase on either side is the hyssop – the lowly hyssop represents modesty and humility. It never becomes proud because of its numerous useful qualities, but remains humble in appearance and modest in its demands.
On the reverse (“tails”) side, the phrase “Know from whence you came”, is written in English and Hebrew. This reminds you that once upon a time you were just a small bit of matter, and have no reason to be puffed up with pride. Hebrew – da may’ayin ba’ta In the center is the Hebrew letter Dalet, characterizing lowliness, the consciousness of possessing nothing of your own. “434” is the numerical value of the Hebrew word “Dalet”. There are many meanings associated with this number and Dalet for you to explore if you so chose.
DWENNIMMEN (djwin-knee-mann): “Ram’s horns.” “West African symbol of strength (in mind, body and soul), humility, wisdom and learning. The ram will fight fiercely against an adversary, but it also submits humbly to slaughter, emphasizing that even the strong need to be humble. “
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What a brilliant quote!
Humility as a cure for ego and selfishness- as prescribed by C.S. Lewis.
There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.
Someone you haven’t met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.
Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.
Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God’s children.
A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, “nourish them.”
Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you.
Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie.
Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you — for free.
Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.
The next great song is being rehearsed.
Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.
Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.
Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they’ll be thriving like never before. They just can’t see it from where they’re at.
Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want — and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it’s reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all “So worth the wait.“
Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche — this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.
Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.
Someone is fighting the fight so that you don’t have to.
Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe.Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil libertiesand clean drinking water.
Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable.Someone is curing the incurable.
“Danielle LaPorte is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, which has been called the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.”
Please visit her website for some inspiration and wisdom…She is so brilliant. I just “discovered” her and will most likely be doing more blog posts about her and her writing.
If you want more inspiration and wisdom from Danielle, please go to her website: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/to sign up for her newsletters. You can choose to receive via email a “daily truthbomb”, a “somewhat weekly” newsletter and a “monthly digest” newsletter. I am signed up for all of them and highly recommend them.
Danielle has generously provided the first chapter of her book for free on her website. You can read it on Scribd or download it in pdf format. Please click on this link: The Fire Starter Sessions Chapter One.
According to the artist Cristina McAllister: “The heart is a symbol of love, of emotion, the center of our Selves. Wings represent freedom, divinity, and transcendence. Together they suggest the form of an owl – an animal sacred to Athena, ancient Greek goddess of wisdom, civilization, strength and strategy. Owls have been revered throughout the world as messengers of sacred knowledge, insight and intuitive awareness, as well as scholarly pursuits. At the top, a Native American shaman’s eye offers wisdom and protection. In many tribal cultures, shamans serve as intermediaries between the human and spirit worlds. They interpret omens and offer insight through mystical, as well as practical means, in effort to protect and guide their people. Below twines a pair of snakes. These creatures signified wisdom to the ancient Egyptians, Jews, Gnostics, Eastern Indians and Chinese. The notion of snakes being wise was based on observations of their behavior. When hunting, snakes appear to think deeply and consider every move before acting. Also present are two West African adrinka symbols. Sankofa, or “return and get it” (above the winged heart) represents the ability to learn from the past. Nyansapo, or “Knot of Wisdom” (at bottom center) indicates intelligence, wisdom and cleverness.”
Suicide is a very uncomfortable and necessary subject to discuss.
I recently came across a YouTube video that left such an impact on me that I was not able to write a blog post until now {approx. 18 days}.
The video left such a deep impression on me that I had to reflect for a while before I could decide what to write.
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Japan’s Aokigahara (青木ヶ原) forest also known as the Sea of Trees (樹海 Jukai) or the Suicide forest is a place where many people go to contemplate suicide.
Sadly, many actually commit suicide.
I feel so much compassion for people who are considering suicide as a way to end their pain.
I strongly believe that people do not actually want to die but to end their pain and they do not see another way to achieve this.
Below is an actual suicide note found in the forest.
I find it heart breaking.
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Many moons ago, I had a friend that was considering suicide.
Sadly, we are not in each other’s lives anymore. {In case you are worried…don’t worry he is okay. He is one of the strongest individuals I have known. I saw him the other day from afar}.
I think of him often and pray that he finds the strength to fight against his darkness.
I am still haunted by the fact that he felt this depressed and that I could not do anything to heal his pain.
I know that only he can heal his pain.
I did my best to be a loving friend but I know that we cannot truly save anyone.
We can only save ourselves.
In fact, we always had a friendly argument about saving and being saved.
It revolved around the graphic novel and film Sin City.
Please click this link for more information on the movie: Sin City.
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Marv was so madly in love with Goldie and he loved her so much that he wanted to go to hell to save her.My friend fiercely defended his thesis of loving someone so deeply that you go to hell to save them.
Conversely, I went for a different thesis. I said that you can love someone so much that you get out of hell because of your love for them and possibly their love for you. Your love for them is so powerful and/or their love for you is so strong that you pull yourself up with your own strength and get out of hell- your personal hell or the other kind. In essence, you save yourself instead of saving someone else. In other words, the alchemy of love.
No one was right or wrong. It was fun to discuss but I stand by my point of view even though I recognize his had merit. It all depends on how you look at things and being polar opposites, we were going to see differently once in a while. Well, it was a healthy discussion.
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Can we actually save someone?
Dita Von Teese & Marilyn Manson in Vogue Magazine Photo By Steven Klein
Azusa Hayano makes me question my beliefs that we cannot save anyone but ourselves.
I do believe we can help someone to save themselves and this is what I think he does so brilliantly and compassionately.
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We meet an extraordinary soul, Azusa Hayano, in this vice documentary.
He is a geologist that does the most important job of suicide patrol in the forest. {I discovered from another video that the police also seem to do suicide patrol}.
Azusa also studies how people co-exist with nature because he says it is part of environmental research.
He still does not know why people kill themselves in such a beautiful forest (18:53) although he does explain that it may be because of a popular book written in the past.
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Azusa patrols the forest looking for people who are contemplating suicide in hopes of convincing them otherwise.
He even finds a man in a yellow tent that appears to have been contemplating suicide. According to the VICE website comments found at http://www.vice.com/vice-news/aokigahara-suicide-forest-v3, the man in the yellow tent had been camping in the forest for one month. He had to be taken out in an ambulance.
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The police even put up signs to try to stop people from committing suicide. They also provide the number for suicide hotlines.
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I found it fascinating that many people leave a trail of tape to find their way back in case they change their mind. This is hopeful because people who are undecided can finally decide to leave the forest.
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With his gentle and compassionate manner, one can see how Azusa could convince someone who is struggling to live.
I was struck by how much this man cares.
He really cares and that is so rare these days.
In a forest where traditional compasses do not work, Azusa uses his compassion and wisdom as his guides.
He also looks for people who have committed suicide.
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Azusa reminds me of the value of a life and how much difference one life can make in the world.
If we could find our purpose and live our potential, then we could make our contribution- our gift to the world.
We need more people like Azusa in this world.
We need more people who really care and have compassion for those who are suffering. I don’t know if he technically “saves” anyone but he does help people to save themselves and this is priceless.
Azusa is actually living the Buddha’s teachings- especially that of compassion.
I am also reminded by how the absence of one life can be a tear in the fabric of existence and humanity. I think about how that person had so much more life to live, love and wisdom to give and receive, experiences to be had, esoteric gifts to give and potential to be lived.
I think of the apocalyptic loss for their loved ones.
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Azusa states in the documentary that the internet and technology may be the reason why there is such a disconnection between oneself and others. It is as if a schism is caused between our waking lives and our onscreen lives. Our lack of face-to-face communication has a price. Disconnection, depression, further loneliness and numbness may develop. Azusa discusses the human need for connection in real life- not through the filter of a computer screen.
“Face-to-face communication used to be vital, but now we can live our lives being online all day. However, the truth of the matter is that we still need to see each other’s faces, read their expressions, hear their voices, so we can fully understand their emotions to coexist.” -Azusa Hayano
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The essence of what Azusa teaches and lives is filled with compassion and wisdom…
This documentary also reminds me of the urgent need to discuss mental health issues.
I am and continue to be a mental health advocate.
I deeply believe in the strength and resilience of the human spirit. We can transcend our suffering and transform it into something beautiful and meaningful.
The phoenix always rises from the ashes…
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To those of you suffering and feeling depressed…I offer you my compassion. This post if for you.
Please speak to someone who cares- even if they are a stranger. You will never know what a difference it could make in your life. They might have some life changing wisdom to give you or messages from the universe.
*Reach out to someone.
I pray the Buddha’s teachings, wisdom and compassion can alleviate your suffering.
Conversely, you never know how you can help someone who is suffering and in need.
You never know what impact you can have on someone’s life- even a stranger.
We are all interconnected.
By helping others we are actually helping ourselves.
“I’ve been living here for more than 30 years. My job is mainly environmental protection, I study volcanic eruptions and the plantation at the foot of Mt. Fuji.
In the year 864, Mt. Fuji erupted, and the forest that grew over the dried lava was named “Jukai” or “Sea of Trees”. Aokigahara is the actual name of the place, but people started calling it “Jukai”, because the forest as seen from halfway up of Mt. Fuji, is green all year round, and it looks like the ocean.
We’re entering the forest now. There’s a car that’s been abandoned for a few months, let’s take a look. I’m assuming the owner of the car went in from here and never came out. I guess they went into the forest with troubled thoughts.
In the old days in Japan, suicide was mainly known as the samarai’s act, as in “Seppuku” (harakari). In other cases poor families would abandon their elders in the mountains. That’s how it was back then, they weren’t killing themselves cause they couldn’t adapt to society. That didn’t happen like it does now, it’s a modern phenomenon.
This is a sign to stop suicidal people.
“Your life is a precious gift from your parents, Please think about your parents, siblings, and children. Don’t keep it to yourself. Talk about your troubles.”
Then it says to contact the Suicide Prevention Association.
Locals don’t commt suicide here. As children they’re told not to come near here, that it’s a scary forest. This path is open for the public, but you can’t follow the trail beyond this point. It says not to enter because you can easily get lost. In the Jukai, I think I’ve found more than… 100 suicide corpses in the last 20 years or so.
I found something strange, I’ll show you. People who are indecisive about dying, wrap this tape on trees along their way, so they can find their way out. There’s something that looks like a tent. I’m going to see if anyone’s inside, please wait here.” -Azusa Hayano, geologist
The forest is a popular place for suicides, reportedly the world’s second most popular suicide location after San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge. This popularity is often attributed to the 1960 novel Nami no To by Seicho Matsumoto, which ends with two lovers committing suicide in the forest. However, the history of suicide in Aokigahara dates from before the novel’s publication, and the place has long been associated with death: ubasute was allegedly practiced there into the 19th century, and the forest is reputedly haunted by the ghosts of those left to die…”
Here is a short video about the Aokigahara forest and the plague of suicide in Japan (2:34). There is thought to be one suicide every fifteen minutes in Japan.
An expert postulates that societal pressures and culture is to blame for the high suicide rate in Japan (1:55). He notes that even from a young age weakness is not allowed to be displayed.
“Whether it is within the family, at work or in society, it is very hard to show weakness. From a very young age, from primary school on, dynamic and happy kids are held up as examples to follow. If you don’t live up to that, other people treat you harshly and that’s is why people don’t ask for help.”
It is intriguing to note that Dante wrote about a suicide forest.
His writing was also translated into art.
Dante Alighieri’s Inferno from the Original by Dante Alighieri and Illustrated with the Designs of Gustave Doré (New York: Cassell Publishing Company, 1890).
Dante Alighieri’s Inferno from the Original by Dante Alighieri and Illustrated with the Designs of Gustave Doré (New York: Cassell Publishing Company, 1890).
Goodie Mob has since broken up although there might be a reunion in the works. Cee-Lo has moved on to Gnarles Barkley and a solo music career.
He was interviewed on The Hour and I love what Cee-Lo says at 1:20:
“…People would maybe envy the success that you have or the fame, the celebrity…you know but I’m not sure if we talked about it you know specifically, if you want to pay the same price that I did…”
He paid quite the price.
Cee-Lo felt he was “thrust into manhood” because his mother had become a quadriplegic as a result of a car accident. He had to watch his mother suffer for three hellish years from complications due to her paralysis until her death.
He felt there was “a transferral of energy” and that he took on her spirit and her wish for him to be a success as a person.
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His fierce love and reverence for his mother is so inspiring.
He speaks about it in the chilling song “Guess Who” on Goodiemob’s Soulfood album.
“You are me, and I am you.
Isn’t it obvious that we “inter-are”?
You cultivate the flower in yourself,
so that I will be beautiful.
I transform the garbage in myself,
so that you will not have to suffer.
I support you; you support me. I am in this world to offer you peace; you are in this world to bring me joy.”
We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime.
It’s easy.
The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in the sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses.
The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet. probably.
They all count.
But there are certain people you love who do something else;
they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like.
These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years.
But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable.
You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real-but you create the context. And context is everything.
The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet first time you really, really want to love someone.
But that person still wins. They win, and you lose.
The reason that I decided to share this is because I wanted to briefly discuss break-ups.
I really respect how Erykah Badu was so honest with Common.
Although it hurt him to tell him the truth about her change of heart, in the end it was better for Common.
He grew and learned from the experience.
It was his first love and first heart break. Now says that he and Erykah are “cool” again.
Why couldn’t everyone be so honest in regards to break-ups?
Imagine if someone told you the truth instead of a cheap line…
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
If people were more honest about why they want to leave their significant other, then perhaps the other person would learn so much more and have better closure.
Perhaps this communication could break down some walls and infuse some new life in the old friendship and romance.
Who knows, perhaps this new-found honesty might create some new-found intimacy.
Perhaps things fall apart to come together…
Perhaps I am dreaming of an utopian vision of reality because I know that most of the time things just fall apart.
{I know that relationships and break-ups especially are more complicated than this post describes}.
Regardless, if a couple has to part ways, it would be ideal if they each respected each other enough to be honest with each other.
By not telling someone the truth, you are potentially taking away opportunities for growth.
How else can they know what they did wrong if you don’t tell them? How else can they improve, learn, grow and change?
Thankfully one can still do some self-reflection in order to find healing, growth and closure on your own.
You can learn from your mistakes.
*Of course your learning, growth and healing is not the other person’s responsibility.
But…If both are ready and willing to battle their egos, then perhaps they can truly listen, share and learn.
At least both can learn what they did wrong from the mutual constructive criticism and feedback.
They will know why the other is jumping ship- instead of just being left out in the cold {or the rain} all alone.
Leaving someone guessing is just too cruel to do to someone’s heart, mind, life and soul- especially to someone that you used to like, love or at least be attracted to. This only further hurts someone that loved you- adored you.
Don’t they deserve better from you?
{Leaving crumbs of false hope is an even more heartless thing to do to someone. Giving someone false hope so selfishly makes it painful for them to move on and to heal}.
No one deserves to over-analyze and be haunted by what they possibly could have done wrong.
They deserve better and if you are the dumped person, then so do you.
{Of course there always are exceptions and not every break-up is amicable}.
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P.s. I highly recommend watching the movie High Fidelity (where most of the pictures from this post are from).
It is an excellent movie and my favourite break-up movie of all time next to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind}.
Jean Graeis one of the best lyricists/MCs that I have heard.
Her gift of story telling is evident in every song.
This song is not only about love in relations to others but in regards to one’s self. Self-love is what was born of deep pain. The protagonist in the song starts from being a naive victim and then transforms into a heroine. She comes from a place of dependence and grows into independence.
My favourite line is, “What I thought was gold was only gold-plated…“ How many times have you met someone that you thought had a heart of gold only to discover otherwise; hence, the gold plated reference.
*How rare it is to find a heart of gold in this world…but it’s not impossible.
Don’t forget that you can have a heart of gold
Love Song Lyrics
“She grew up believing in passion and love Whose folks divorced and remarried Very naive Seen life and committments that shoulda been dead and buried Highly sentimental Sensitive Gentle beyond the point she should be What might be obvious to most, she says they too bitter Can’t see the world the way she does Clean lungs, undamaged liver Sees thugs through a pink-tinted glasses Occasionally Weed does make her giggle Listen to some music closer Dudes approach her Lightly Wanna be her lover and she obliges Likes to cuddle under the covers by candlelit fires Oblivious to lying schemes to talk her out of clothes Says shes just in love with love Cuts her classes Spending too much time entrancing romancing Things are changing quickly She’s asking “why aren’t you spending more time with me?” Nigga’s eyes are getting shifty Coming over later smelling of pussy On his face, jeans, and sweaters something’s fishy And it’s not what he tells her, man, it’s what he don’t
And she don’t understand and for some years, she probly won’t Just wants an honest man For goodness sake They backstabbing and cutting her throat Restraining orders follow, but she still optomistic about it Like annie, thinking tomorrow will maybe be a better day I let her pray on bended knees “ask him to send prince charming, please” She’s never cheated Treats her man well Cooks, cleans, dresses sexy for him Halter tops and tight jeans Would break the law for him Go through a couple of these relationships Still stays strong
She’s too young and dumb to call it quits Learns that she carrying twice Scared and afraid the first time The second she don’t even cry Makes her wipe away his tears and it hurts They always leave return crazy, so she doesn’t flirt Spends time warning the babies Goes through a couple of these relationships and still stays strong Too young and dumb to call it quits
Its still a love song
Shes got a good man Shes 19, he’s 21 and sweet and honest Promised to love her Talk of marriage She would never wanna be somebody’s baby’s mother Use rubbers occasionally When she’s flowing Open to all the affection and gifts and all the good manners he’s showing He’s trying to build a life for himself Studies late computer shit and she’s missing attention that she’s not getting Sex dwindles Crawling in the sheets He say “ya tired” and she say she feel “neglect and defeat” Just doesn’t see his ambition She wanna be the universe and hold his center position Starts hanging round the best friend more Crazy attraction takes impultive action Drop the drawers And falls in love The world explodes And she confesses “yeah I did it, so?” They so tight it like he moves when she stretches Over the couple years Too many stresses Girls who wanna fight her Bitches writing letters Friendships disappearing Plus he rhymes, so it’s competitive Pressure miscarriage They break up fifty times a week and make up just as much He fuckin’, and I know, but pretending I’m out of touch It’s getting strained and gets physical She cries until the river dries and leaves her dead and cold Packs up her things and leaves behind what I thought was gold was only gold-plated Thinking of all the other ones I coulda just left and up and dated Singled after four years Starting over never easy But it takes some time to realize your own worth
Come into your own
Play your mental rebirth She starts penning some better poems Straighten up her bank account Likes to take herself out I’m getting better at it I’ve had a few relationships But still too young and dumb enough to call it quits It’s still a love song
Love All I ever want is you All I ever had, leading in my life was you All that ever was, all I ever had
Maybe it’s easier to talk about this shit in third person Learning better Looking for love in all the wrong places Like I’m Eddie Murphy Curse me to repeat the same cycle I’m breaking No longer think relations make a better woman
Just for life, I’m pursuing
Growing, but hopelessly romantic still Tasted weather in the bitter climates Love the sunshine better Dreaming of dream proposals Decent moral values placing higher on my chart
Trying not to have a shallow heart
But battle scars are deep and reaching to the depth of hell and back
Try to give up the grudges
Think it’s experience and move from the clutches of sadness
It’s difficult Sometimes I wish I wasn’t an adult Adolescent primetime sitcom star I’ve been too far and too much, too hard, for too long
It’s still a love song.”
-Jean Grae
Here’s hoping that you realize your own worth and find the person that has a heart of gold- not a gold plated one
Here’s to hoping you find the person that deserves you, your love, heart and soul.
“Sea inside, sea inside In the weightlessness of the bottom Where dreams come to fruition Two wills unite To realize a wish.
One kiss ignites the life With lightning and thunder
And in a metamorphosis my body no longer is my body,
It is like a penetration through the center of the universe.
The most puerile embrace And the purest of kisses Until seeing ourselves reduced Into the only desire.
Your look and my look Like an echo repeating itself without words Deeper, deeper Until beyond the realm of everything By the blood and by the bones.
But I always awaken And I always want to be dead, To remain with my mouth Entangled in your hair.”
Spanish Version:
Mar Adentro
“Mar adentro, mar adentro. Y en la ingravidez del fondo donde se cumplen los sueños se juntan dos voluntades para cumplir un deseo. Un beso enciende la vida con un relámpago y un trueno y en una metamorfosis mi cuerpo no es ya mi cuerpo, es como penetrar al centro del universo. El abrazo más pueril y el más puro de los besos hasta vernos reducidos en un único deseo. Tu mirada y mi mirada como un eco repitiendo, sin palabras ‘más adentro’, ‘más adentro’ hasta el más allá del todo por la sangre y por los huesos. Pero me despierto siempre y siempre quiero estar muerto, para seguir con mi boca enredada en tus cabellos.”
There is something about listening to Sneaker Pimp’s Bloodsport that does something to me.
Chris Corner‘s angelic and seductive voice transforms this into a classic song.
The thesis of the song is that, “love is just a blood sport.”
Almost every one of us has been in a romantic situation where we have felt like we have gotten beat up emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and metaphorically; hence the bloodsport analogy.
Other times perhaps we may have been the one instigating the fight.
It seems as though when you become vulnerable, many times you are hurt.
One thing that I say all the time is that people often mistake kindness for weakness.
In this case, people can mistake love for foolishness and weakness.
For this reason, people tend to put up walls, put on masks and have knives up their sleeves to protect themselves from getting hurt. These same walls that protect you can eventually become a prison so you become mindful of how thick your walls are and of who you allow in.
It reminds me of one of my favourite Rumi quotes. {I have had this as my email signature for years and it is still there}.
“Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.”
-Rumi
*
So one day you let the walls down and let someone in…
It is so beautiful when love is intimate, passionate, gentle and kind.
This is the utopian version of love- a compassionate union of souls; the type of love that Rumi wrote poems about- friendship set on fire- intimacy at its most pure, most spiritual and its best.
What are you but my spiritual reflection?
The truth is that as much as all of us want that type of love, we don’t always find it because it is so elusive and rare.
Most are not ready or brave enough for true intimacy- to open one’s soul to another- to be spiritually naked without any armour…to risk really getting hurt while loving.
As a good friend always used to say,
“If you risk nothing,
you risk everything.”
The question is…are you willling to risk everything?
Love doesn’t have to be a bloodsport but sometimes it just is…
Bloodsport Lyrics:
I want to be a kid again
Come down having Sunday best
See me staying home bunking school
Knowing wrong from right just rules
I wish I’d never seen your face
Better done wonder phase
I need an echo, not your praise
Straying from the god you nailed
My mother, my mother, my mother never told
My mother, my mother, my mother never told me Love is just a bloodsport Love is just a bloodsport
‘Cause love is just a bloodsport Love is just a bloodsport
Sex and love is not a game A game is something you can win Maybe something kind of fun ‘Cause love is just a bloodsport, son
My mother, my mother, my mother never told
My mother, my mother, my mother never told me
Never told me
Never told me
‘Cause love is just a bloodsport Love is just a bloodsport ‘Cause love is just a bloodsport Love is just a bloodsport
Who is Passing You By??? Or Who Are You Passing By???
I Love The Pharcyde… Passin’ Me By is a True Hip Hop Classic… Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde is a Classic Hip Hop Album…so original, creative and fresh. Its still all love after all these years… The Pharcyde – Passin’ Me by Lyrics
“Now in my younger days I used to sport a shag When I went to school I carried lunch in a bag With an apple for my teacher cause I knew I’d get a kiss Always got mad when the class was dismissed But when it was in session, I always had a question I would raise my hand to make her stand, come to my desk and Help me with my problem, it was never much Just a trick, to smell her scent and try to sneak a touch Oh, how I wish I could hold her hand and give her a hug She was married to the man, he was a thug His name was Lee, he drove a Z He’d pick her up from school promptly at three o’clock I was on her jock, yes indeedy I wrote graffiti on the bus
First I’d write her name then carve a plus
With my name last, on the looking glass
I seen her yesterday but still I had to let her pass
She keeps on passin’ me by…
When I dream of fairytales I think of me and Shelly See she’s my type of hype and I can’t stand when brothers tell me That I should quit chasin’ and look for somethin’ better But the smile that she shows makes me a go-getter I haven’t gone as far as asking if I could get with her I just play it by ear and hope she gets the picture I’m shootin’ for her heart, got my finger on the trigger She could be my broad, and I could be her nigg* But, all I can do is stare Back as kids we used to kiss when we played truth or dare
Now she’s more sophisticated, highly edu-ma-cated
Not at all over-rated, I think I need a prayer
To get in her boots and it looks rather dry I guess a twinkle in her eye is just a twinkle in her eye
Although she’s crazy steppin’, I’ll try to stop her stride
Cause I won’t have no more of this passin’ me by…
Time for me to voice my opinion of not even pretendin she didn’t have me Strung like a chicken, chase my tail like a doggie She was kind of like a star, thinking I was like a fan
Dude, she looked good, down side: she had a man He was a rooty-toot, a nincompoop She told me soon your little birdie’s gonna fly the coop She was a flake like corn, and I was born not to understand By lettin’ her pass I had proved to be a better man
She keeps on passin’ me by…
Now there she goes again, the dopest Ethiopian And now the world around me be gets movin in slow motion
When-ever she happens to walk by – why does the apple of my eye
Overlook and disregard my feelings no matter how much I try? Wait, no, I did not really pursue my little princess with persistance; And I was so low-key that she was unaware of my existence
From a distance I desired, secretly admired her;
Wired her a letter to get her, and it went:
My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me but I know you very well
Now let me tell you about the feelings I have for you
When I try, or make some sort of attempt, I symp
Damn I wish I wasn’t such a wimp
Cause then I would let you know that I love you so
And if I was your man then I would be true The only lyin’ I would do is in the bed with you
Then I signed sincerely, the one who loves you dearly, PS Love Me Tender
The letter came back three days later: Return to Sender, damn
She keeps on passin’ me by…”
We all have somebody that we “used to know.” That person from a past life that is now a ghost. {Once so intimate, now so distant}. Previously best friends and lovers, now old flames and strangers.
I’ve always wondered what kind of mathematics turns friends & lovers into strangers?
Is it time? Distance? Pain? Anger? Disappointment? Betrayal? Worst of all: indifference?
*
It is ironic that Gotye reminds me of someone that I used to know…
*
*I Love Gotye‘s Music & Videos!!! He {Gotye/Wally de Backer} is so creative and talented!
*
Gotye sings this song with so much passion.
You can see it in his beautiful, soulful green eyes.
Most likely this song comes out of life experience- like some great art does.
To learn more about this Australian musical genius, please click on this link: http://www.gotye.com/
********************************************** Somebody That I Used To Know lyrics
Now and then I think of when we were together Like when you said you felt so happy you could die Told myself that you were right for me But felt so lonely in your company But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness Like resignation to the end Always the end So when we found that we could not make sense Well you said that we would still be friends But I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over
But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing And I don’t even need your love But you treat me like a stranger And that feels so rough You didn’t have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records And then change your number I guess that I don’t need that though Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I’d done And I don’t wanna live that way Reading into every word you say You said that you could let it go And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know…
But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing And I don’t even need your love But you treat me like a stranger And that feels so rough You didn’t have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records And then change your number I guess that I don’t need that though Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
.jpg "The Lone Wolf Howling")
My friend fiercely defended his thesis of loving someone so deeply that you go to hell to save them.
{or the rain} all alone.
I highly recommend watching the brilliant film: 
To learn more about this Australian musical genius, please click on this link:
